Worst Week Ever! Dec. 16-22

Ohio GOP leaders say they'll support Trump; Justice Scalia says what less-advanced racists are thinking; the middle class is shrinking beginning with its bank account and more.

click to enlarge Marco Rubio: "Y'all don't rule. I RULE!"
Marco Rubio: "Y'all don't rule. I RULE!"

Ohio GOP Leaders: “Of Course We’ll Support Trump!”

Donald Trump has been cracking up American audiences for decades with his crazy hair and straight-to-the-point reality show catchphrases. But, unfortunately for the Republican Party, there is no other candidate with as much combined experience in international business and farcical popularity contests to overtake him in the polls thus far. Since Trump is still pretending to be serious about his presidential aspirations, The Enquirer last week asked Ohio Republican leaders whether they would support the megalomaniacal real estate mogul should he win the party’s nomination and continue his Andy Kaufman-esque comedy bit through the fall. Most, including U.S. Sen. Rob Portman, Congressman Steve Chabot and Hamilton County COP Chairman Alex Triantafilou, said something along the lines of, “Sure I’ll support him, but he’s not going to win. Ha Ha Ha.” Ohio governor and fellow GOP presidential hopeful John Kasich said he just wants to win the nomination so he can point in Trump’s face and say, “You’re not a viable VP candidate. You’re fired.” 

Justice Scalia Says What Less-Advanced Racists Are Thinking 

Supreme Court Justices are smart people — they all went to college for a long time, were appointed by a president and then confirmed by Congress despite an opposing party that would rather die a thousand deaths than see that particular individual serve the nation’s highest court. One interesting factoid about the Supreme Court, however, is that each of its members is appointed for life, which means that every so often one of them lives longer than anyone would have expected (or hoped) and starts saying messed up things that haven’t been generally accepted since decades ago when that person was an actual judge, probably being racist on his or her bench out in the open. Justice Antonin Scalia offered such a blast from the past this week when he suggested that black students might perform better in “less-advanced schools” on “slower tracks.” Scalia’s comments became a footnote in arguments in Fisher v. the University of Texas at Austin, a white woman’s lawsuit over being denied access to the University of Texas even though she is smart and white. “I’m just not impressed by the fact that the University of Texas may have fewer,” Scalia said. “Maybe it ought to have fewer,” before adding, “Fuck me, I forgot to DVR The Good Wife.” 

Speaking of Haters on the Wrong Side of History...

Picture this: A determined Florida senator points to a faded, black-and-white photo of old-timey judges, decrying their descendants on the Supreme Court for offering extra rights to people who have pissed him off. “Ultimately, I will appoint Supreme Court justices that will interpret the Constitution as originally constructed,” he says, presumably meaning there wouldn’t be any women involved and gay people would not be allowed to get married. Now replace whatever asshole’s face you had pictured with that of Sen. Marco Rubio, who offered this very promise to voters last week as he meticulously follows Donald Trump higher up the steep slope of Mt. Bullshit. Rubio made the comment during an appearance on NBC’s Meet the Press, also referencing “200 years of jurisprudence,” as if Thomas Jefferson could have fathomed the idea of unisex bathrooms back when he was laying the foundation for the world’s greatest democracy while owning slaves. 

Corporate-Funded Parks Tax Campaign Spent Mass Money

The term “grassroots” is tossed around a lot these days because people feel good about the idea of a representative democracy actually serving the will of the people. So it was kind of weird when Mayor John Cranley referred to his parks tax levy as such, even though it was funded by mass corporate interests and eventually overwhelmingly voted down by actual citizens. The Enquirer last week did the math on the campaign finance reports, finding that one-third of the donations to the pro-parks-tax side came from corporate interests, including a group called “Great Parks, Great Neighborhoods” that raised more than $500,000 and doesn’t have to divulge where it got the money because of campaign finance rules put in place by

fascist corporations

job creators who care about Burnet Woods. The final tally amounted to $47 per “yes” vote for the pro-tax side, 27 cents for each “no” vote and also included the details of a TV advertisement that went way over budget because Cranley refused to pass the basketball to a neighborhood kid, thinking he would look cooler draining the final shot. 

Study: Middle Class Is Shrinking, Starting with Its Bank Account

Most people consider themselves to be pretty middle class — it’s less embarrassing than admitting you’re kind of poor or that your parents have enough money to get you out of trouble three or four times before you end up where the bad kids who live in poverty typically go (jail or online college). A new report from the Pew Research Center recently detailed how
drastically the American middle class is changing — and by changing, researchers mean having a smaller share of the country’s overall wealth. In 1970, the middle class reportedly held 62 percent of the nation’s wealth, but by 2014 that percentage dropped to 43 while the rich people built up their share from 29 to 49 percent. The study defined “middle-income” as adults who bring in two-thirds to double the national median household income, or a range from those who can buy their kids a late-model car for their 16th birthday to the ones who send kids to Europe for a senior trip. 


CONTACT DANNY CROSS: [email protected]


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