Savage Love

The Code

I went to a friend's wedding, a friend whom five years ago I would have called a "best friend." I don't know how to describe our friendship now because we don't talk or see each other much. I

By Dan Savage

  I went to a friend's wedding, a friend whom five years ago I would have called a "best friend." I don't know how to describe our friendship now because we don't talk or see each other much. I was reacquainted with her ex-boyfriend (she dated him for three months three years ago) at her wedding and now I'm dating him...

  • The Letter

    My girlfriend of three years is a smoker. In the beginning of our relationship, her smoking didn't bother me. I come from a family of smokers, and I used to smoke. But now her smoking is a huge turn

    By Dan Savage

  • That Flushing Sound

    I have a sexual interest in the sounds of men using the toilet. There are several restaurants very close to my home, and I hide a wireless telephone headset in an inconspicuous place in the bathroom

    By Dan Savage

  • Is Lust Enough?

    I'm a married guy with a good job, a wonderful kid, and my wife's a good lady. The problem? Sex. She rarely wants/needs it, and when I can get her in the mood it's the same old, dull routine. Same p

    By Dan Savage

  • Caller, Caller?

    Recently, my boyfriend and I broke up, one reason being his lack of initiative in calling me. After we broke up, I spoke with several of my girlfriends and found out that they, too, have similar tro

    By Dan Savage

  • My Sisters Slave

    My sister, whom I'm quite close with, has been getting into S&M. Recently she announced that she's acquired a slave. After much thought and discussion on the matter, I am still having a very hard ti

    By Dan Savage

  • Away In A Manger

    Lest I be accused of waging a War on Christmas by the pro-Christmas lobby -- oh, whatever would I do if the all-powerful puckerbutts at the American Family Association called for a boycott of Savage

    By Dan Savage

  • Being a Callboy

    Here's my problem: I got fired from my job at the beginning of the summer and, long story short, ended up escorting to pay the bills. Being a callboy in New York turned out to be not nearly as bad a

    By Dan Savage

  • The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability

    I'm a 23-year-old straight male. Due to a rare autoimmune attack three years ago, I have been indefinitely confined to a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down. I was never sexually active before

    By Dan Savage

  • Really Mean Friend

    My boyfriend, Jason, is having problems with a boy named Roger who is obsessed with him. But because Roger is friends with Jason and Jason's friends, Jason won't just tell him off. Roger had the aud

    By Dan Savage

  • Relative Danger

    Am I out of bounds if I try to have a dialogue with my nephew about masturbation? He's 17 years old and I'm 52. I'm also a balanced bisexual male in a good marriage. I masturbate a lot "in private"

    By Dan Savage

  • Strap-on Strap-off

    My boyfriend let me experiment on him with a strap-on. At first he didn't like it, but now he loves it. Now I want to have sex with another guy and watch him suck a real cock. How can I get him to t

    By Dan Savage

  • I Have This Friend

    My stepdad is gay. He fell in love with and married my mom anyway, and they appear to have a strong relationship despite his sexual preference -- they love each other, had a baby together and seem t

    By Dan Savage

  • Wanting a Hot Husband

    I've been with my guy for almost eight years. He wants sex way more often than I do, but I don't want it because I'm not attracted to his 80-pounds-overweight body. The one time I gently broke it to

    By Dan Savage

  • Divorce is not an option

    My wife and I were married straight out of college. At the time I knew she suffered from a potentially debilitating mental disorder, so I came into the relationship with my eyes fully open. Since th

    By Dan Savage

  • Fair and Balanced

    Any words of wisdom on girlfriends, boyfriends and spouses who claim to be GGG but systematically take away much of what they give by making it clear that they're not "into it" even as they fulfill

    By Dan Savage

  • Puzzled By Pubes

    What would you make of someone who intentionally leaves a pubic hair on your toilet seat every time he visits your home? This guy is ostensibly straight (married, even). I'm gay, and my boyfriend an

    By Dan Savage

  • Getting back in the saddle

    I hope this problem isn't too boring: I adore my smart, affectionate, sexy husband, but he's impotent. We don't really need medical advice -- we know why. (It started out physiological, side effects

    By Dan Savage

  • The Gay Canada

    I fully support gay rights and wrote a letter to the prime minister -- I'm up in Canada -- supporting gay marriage. But whenever I get into debates about the issue with right-wing acquaintances, the

    By Dan Savage

  • Flip on that switch

    I'm a 21-year-old straight guy with a boring, straight sex life. Until a few months ago when something terrifying happened. Back in May, I was contacted by somebody through She claimed t

    By Dan Savage

  • Uneasy In Public

    A friend of mine is setting up a Web site with some of her friends for feminist (mostly queer) porn. I'm straight, and she asked me if I wanted to be in it, with or without my boyfriend of two years

    By Dan Savage

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November 29, 2023

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