Yeah, libcucks and Dumbocrats are having some laughs at the expense of the U.S.A.’s forthcoming expansion of our might with the very smart, not at all distracting or too expensive new military branch, Space Force. But they won’t be laughing when our brave men and women fly a fleet of Millennium Falcons to Mars to save everyone by shooting down the illegal, probably MS-13-affiliated aliens planning to encase our great country in a Martian Jello mold and force us to live in the dark, cold, perhaps lime-flavored Jello country under Sharia Space Law!
True patriots like Alex Jones and Donald Trump know the threat of space warfare is right around the corner and will do anything to protect the millions of miles above the U.S. — tweet, yell, make logos, sell t-shirts… anything.
Joining the cause of promoting Space Force*, several musical acts from Greater Cincinnati are teaming up for a concert on Sept. 1 at Southgate House Revival. Billed as “Enlist in Space Force,” it’s unclear if recruiters will be on hand to actually sign those interested up for service, but organizers will hopefully at least have some of those amazing t-shirts for sale.
The Facebook event page says, “Come join us for a night of celebration as we prepare for our last days on earth!,” which sounds scary until you realize they probably just mean it’s a farewell for all of the participating musicians who have enlisted and will soon be space-bound to fight for our country.
Here’s the lineup (more acts are TBA):
Oso Bear
Common Center
Sleep Crawling
New Third Worlds
Drop The Sun
Dracula-Wolf
Danbient
Rucca
Von Claire
Disaster Class
Black Signal
Little Lights
Under Tipper
Andre the Iron Giant
BRWN BEAR
Curse of Cassandra
Mara Moon
Stitches & Seams
Near Earth Objects
Vice Ensemble
DJ Mowgli
Judge & Jury
Actual Italians
Brian & Adam
Lazy Ass Destroyer
Harlot
Self-Similar
* Not actually affiliated with Space Force, Donald Trump, The Trump Organization, InfoWars or the U.S. Government. All proceeds to benefit Planned Parenthood.
This article appears in Aug 8-15, 2018.