Good News for Winos
Guzzling some pinot noir may result in a red-stained wine mouth, but according to a recent study, drinking wine can actually protect your teeth and gums. As if we needed another reason to hit the bottle.
New research out of Spain suggests that the antioxidants in wine destroy mouth bacteria and prevent plaque, cavities and other disease from sticking to the gums. That’s not just great for mouth health, but for the whole body since those kind of diseases can spread and are linked to scary stuff like cancer and heart disease. This antioxidant is so good at preventing shit from sticking to gum tissue, researchers predict we may see some wine-inspired toothpaste, mouthwash and gum on the market soon. Until then, we say just go straight to the source and drink your way to a positive dental appointment.
In other news, a young cashier recently referred to my purchase of two bottles of wine as “buying in bulk.” Suffice it to say, my oral hygiene is on point.
Kylie Jenner Took Down Snapchat with a Casual Tweet
Everyone knows the Kardashian-Jenners boast a pretty powerful social media influence. They make bank promoting products to their millions of followers, whether they’re hawking their own makeup and clothing lines or Instagram garbage like detox teas and waist trainers. And it’s not just Kris and Ko. making money — a rogue tweet could have potentially serious effects on other people’s pocketbooks. And we’re not talking thousands or even millions of dollars; in the case of Kylie Jenner’s recent musings on Snapchat, she cost the company billions.
It’s not like she was even condemning the app. Last week she simply tweeted, “sooo does anyone else not open Snapchat anymore? Or is it just me… ugh this is so sad.” And boom — shares in the publicly traded company dropped by 7.2 percent — that’s $1.3 billion of Snapchat’s market value gone. There hasn’t been so much riding on a tweet since — oh, wait, the President just tweeted.
KFC Runs Out of Chicken, Apologizes For the FCK-Up
A bunch of KFC restaurants in the U.K. had to shut down last week when several locations did not receive their chicken shipments. Cue the jokes about a chicken restaurant running out of chicken — and is it even chicken they’re serving?! Apparently Brits really love them some Southern-fried goodness, because the news really got some folks’ knickers in a twist. One member of the British parliament even claimed that he received multiple calls about the chicken shortage. Thankfully(?) almost all 900 restaurants are back up and running
Of course, since having a witty corporate marketing presence is all the rage, KFC jumped at the chance to poke fun at themselves. They made a page on their site where the hungry masses could find the closest open location. They posted all about it on social media, complete with a carefully crafted hashtag, #Where’sMyChicken. They even took out full-page ads apologizing for the shipping delay complete with an empty bucket of chicken emblazoned with “FCK.” Aren’t they so twee?
Worst part of this entire story is that this is the third mention of the fried chicken chain in this column in a month. Send help!
Final Olympics Hot Takes
And like that, the 2018 Winter Olympic Games were over. Team U.S.A. came in fourth place behind Norway, Germany and Canada, with 23 total medals and 9 golds. Great job!
Who run the Games? Girls. Women won 12 of the U.S. medals (five of which were gold), topping the male athletes for the first time in 20 years. At 17 years old, Chloe Kim, the American snowboarder who won gold in the halfpipe, is the youngest gold medalist ever in the history of the event. At 33, bronze-winning Alpine skier Lindsey Vonn is now the oldest Olympic female alpine medalist (a sentence that makes me throw up in my mouth a little). Czech skier and snowboarder Ester Ledecka became the first woman to win two gold medals in two sports in a single Winter Olympics (whew). NBC even covered more minutes of women’s competitions than men’s U.S. men’s curling surprised with a gold-medal win over Sweden. Kirstie Alley tried to talk some shit on the sport and everyone from the team to Mr. T and Aaron Rodgers came for her. Stick to Scientology and Jenny Craig, Kirstie — curling is our thing now!
In what may be the polar opposite of winning Olympic gold, Canadian ski-crosser Dave Duncan, along with his wife and manager, were arrested after drunkenly trying to steal a Hummer outside a South Korean bar. At least one person was passed out in the car when police pulled them over. Choices.
A minor moment that stuck with me: A Hungarian ice skater rocked out to AC/DC in an airbrushed leather vest for her number, knowing full well that the judges and icy queens Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir would clock her. Hero.
A streaker interrupted the 1,000-meter speed skating event wearing only a pink tutu and a monkey sock (not on his foot) bringing a beautiful message of peace and love (written on his chest). Turns out he’s a professional who’s streaked hundreds of times in 22 countries. Hero!
Of course, the games could not come to a close without one last appearance of Pita Taufatofua’s oiled up torso. The Tongan athlete who competed in taekwondo during the last Summer Games and trained in cross-country skiing for this one, returned shirtless and shiny for the closing ceremony Sunday. While he did not win a medal in his event (he actually placed 114th out of 119 skiers, ouch), he did give the people what they want and you have to respect that. HERO!
Contact T.C. Britton: letters@citybeat.com
This article appears in Feb 21-28, 2018.