The search for love is an eternal struggle and each era of mass media has played a part in finding it.
Before smartphones and dating apps, newspapers and print publications played the part of matchmaker. The personal ad was a way to write in anonymously and place an ad in a paper’s “classifieds” section, and, later, a designated “personals” section, looking for a relationship.
Along with personal ads, there were also “missed connections,” where entries recall an encounter with an elusive love or passing person of interest with the hope that the subject will see it and they’ll be reconnected. Missed connections have found a new life on Craigslist, where people recall situations in varying degrees of style, romance, humor or plain craziness.
CityBeat had its own personals section, titled “CINgles,” that was retired years ago — until now. Last month, we put a call out for personal ads and missed connections, and you guys delivered. In the pages that follow, we’ll publish these personal ads and missed connections with the hope that we can bring some Valentine’s Day fun and provide an alternative to dating apps.
Even if personal ads and missed connections aren’t completely recognizable at first, you’re probably more familiar with the concept than you think — they’re referenced all over pop culture. From plot points in movies like Desperately Seeking Susan (1985), Single White Female (1992) and Ghost World (2001), to topics in episodes of Sex and the City and Friends.
Music also has a long-running relationship with the subject. Songs like the 1971 hit “Want Ads” by The Honey Cone featured in a recent commercial, or the 1962 song and album Dear Lonely Hearts by legendary singer Nat King Cole, make direct references. The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band may even be a reference to Great Britain’s favored term for personals, the “lonely hearts column.”
The most directly recognizable reference in song may be the personal ad-themed 1979 soft rock hit people love to hate: “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes. The song’s central character places a personal ad in the paper after his relationship has grown cold, only to find that his own wife unknowingly answers the ad, leading to the couple rediscovering their love: “I never knew that you liked Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain…,” and so on.
Take a minute to refresh and get that song out of your head. Proceed.
How CityBeat served Cincinnati “CINgles”
CityBeat has its own history connected to the personal ad that’s woven into the story of the paper from the beginning. CityBeat co-founder Dan Bockrath tells the story of how personal ads found their way onto the pages of the new Cincinnati alt-weekly early on, and their role in the history of not only CityBeat, but alt-weeklies, in general.
When co-founders John Fox and Bockrath launched the paper in November of 1994, Bockrath moved from San Diego and a role at that city’s alt-weekly, The Reader, bringing an updated concept of the personal ad with him.
By the late ‘80s, the 1-900 number was commonly used for things like phone sex, psychic hotlines and to connect singles while making a profit in the process. Publications could move from physical correspondence by mail to a 1-900 number phone service that charged a rate per minute to responders answering the ad, and alt-weeklies, including Bockrath’s former employer, were at the forefront of this method.
“There was a service provider that we worked with and they had the relationship with the phone company,” Bockrath says. “We entered into a relationship with the service provider and we kept the majority of the revenue. I can’t remember exactly what the percentages were, but it was an unbelievable cash cow for the alternative weekly business because we were the groundbreakers in the industry.”
The new phone service allowed callers to respond to personal ads for 99 cents per minute and the ad placer could review the responses in a voicemail box. Bockrath says, “They could just call back and, at the end of conversations, decide if they wanted to meet for coffee or a walk on the beach or whatever and it was just wildly successful right out of the gate.
“So, when I came to Cincinnati and started CityBeat with John (Fox), that was one of the concepts I brought with me. I think we launched our version of it in 1995.”
The personal ads section was called “CINgles” and was placed in the classified ads portion of CityBeat’s print issue, laid out next to relationship editorials from contributors like Erma P. Sanders and her “Dating Diva” column, and Dan Savage’s “Savage Love” column. The section was also placed alongside romance-adjacent advertising, like phone sex hotlines.
Bockrath says the new phone service personals weren’t quite as lucrative in Cincinnati as they were early on for The Reader because, by 1995, the Enquirer, Cincinnati Magazine and even the more business-oriented Downtowner had them. “It was always a fun thing — it was all part of audience engagement and gave our readers another reason to pick up the paper from Kroger or the bookstore or wherever they were, because in the free weeklies, everyone knew about the back of the book where the classifieds were, the personal ads and the massage parlor places and the phone sex and all that. That was literally our domain. That was in stark contrast to what you’d find in the daily newspapers,” Bockrath says with a laugh.
“The reason that our industry was so successful is, it would be fair to say, that we were kind of the original social media before social media went digital. So, our publications like CityBeat, like The Reader in San Diego, were a resource for places to go and things to do, primarily. So, very popular with younger audiences and an extension of that was there were a lot of single people who wanted another option than meeting someone at a bar or at a club and hooking up.”
Bockrath also addresses the possibility of going back to personal ads: “The concept of personal ads for meeting people — I don’t know if things are gonna go retro and people wanna go back to the old school ways because everyone complains about bad profiles and people misrepresenting themselves, not to say that they didn’t do it back when this all first started, but I think there was some authenticity to what it is that we did. I think people were very genuinely interested in using the platform for its intended purpose.”
The move to the internet slowly dried up 1-900 advertising and people moved over to online dating, ending an era and a connection between readers and publications.
“I think it was a more innocent time back then and it was fun because that was all part and parcel to CityBeat’s overall success, was having interesting content from the front of the book, where we had our reporting and our news and opinion stuff, to the back of the book which was fun,” Bockrath says. “You know, ‘What’s the coolest new restaurant to go to?’ and ‘Hey, let’s place a personal ad; maybe we can meet somebody.’”
Unplugging to connect
Time will tell if the personal ad makes a comeback. Either way, it’s clear singles are looking for options. Local organization Date Cincy offers another alternative to digital dating and has seen interesting results.
Date Cincy hosts events for people to meet through in-person events that feature activities, games, giveaways and more in varying sizes and settings across the city.
Founders and childhood best friends Paige Braley and Logan Moore came up with the idea after Moore attended one of Braley’s programs for another organization she’s involved with, The Beauty Boost, which helps women find community and friendships.
Attending an event in support of her best friend sparked an idea. Moore says she thought, “Why doesn’t this exist for singles, people trying to find their person?” Within a few months, they made an Instagram page, started hosting events and Date Cincy began.
“What’s really cool is we had our first event back in August of 2023 and we were just kind of like, ‘Hey, whatever happens, happens. Let’s provide this space, whoever shows up will show up. It’s gonna be a good time.’ Right? And it sold out, at capacity,” Braley says. “And then every single event we’ve had since has met the capacity of whatever the venue is.”
Braley tells CityBeat they’ve heard great feedback about not only the dating aspect of Date Cincy, but also helping people get out more socially. “People have said it just really helps with their social confidence, in general, when it comes to making friends, potentially dating, even outside of Date Cincy.”
“And the fact that people are fed up and done with the dating apps and the online dating,” Moore says. “Just the time wasted and disappointment and the frustration and everything that comes along with those. So, we’ve heard a lot of people say, ‘Thank you so much for having these events because it gives me another option rather than just having to go through the apps and swipe, swipe, swipe.’”
Cincinnati’s dating community seems to have taken notice. Whether it’s one of their average events with 250-300 people, a smaller event for 60-100 or a “mass mixer” with 6-800 people, all of Date Cincy’s events have sold out.
The two bring up the New York Times article published in December 2024 that placed Cincinnati among the top 10 cities in the U.S. for dating. “I think it’s cool because I feel like Cincinnati is such a people’s city,” Braley says. “People love connecting with other Cincinnati people. So, it seems like as soon as people had the chance to get off the apps and try something in person, they’ve met capacity for every single event.”
They say they’ve heard a number of success stories, proving it isn’t all just fun and games. The most recent one came from a response to an Instagram post. “We had a guy reach out to us. We shared a post like, ‘If you come to our January event this could be you next year cuddled up on the couch with your significant other after a year of dating.’ And he commented on it and he said, ‘This is me right now,’” Moore says.
He had met someone at a Date Cincy event the previous January and says he’s thankful because the two might not have swiped on each other in the apps, but they’re now talking about the future together.
“It’s so rewarding,” Braley says of these success stories. “It’s one of the best things about holding these events, seeing people actually meeting their people and finding their person. Our slogan is ‘Meet your person, in person.’ When that happens, it’s really exciting.”
In addition to offering another alternative to dating apps, personal ads may play a role in Date Cincy’s process soon, as well. They’ve been asked to add a type of personal ad component to their Instagram and say they are “still tinkering” with how they could do it, but they like the idea.
Missed connections have also come into play. “After our last event, we did a missed connections thing,” Braley says. “We were like, ‘Hey, did you see somebody at the event and you didn’t get a chance to get their number? Let us know.’ And it was crazy how many people were like, ‘There was a guy in a red jacket but I never got his name, can you put this out there?’ There were quite a few that we were able to connect.”
In the true spirit of missed connection serendipity, they were able to make a connection from a random video post. “One girl had a dance partner and we posted a video and she was like, ‘Hey, that’s me and that was the guy I was dancing with but I didn’t get his number.’ So, we posted this story and the guy she was dancing with didn’t have an Instagram, but his friend saw it and ended up giving us his number to connect them,” Moore says.
Who knows what the future of dating holds — perhaps a new technology will emerge to connect people, or past methods will be rediscovered or rejected by future singles. Either way, the search will never end, and, chances are, some form of media will be there trying to help you find your soulmate.
Until then, feel free to take a trip back in time with us and look over the personal ads printed below — just like it used to be. Who knows, maybe you’ll find just what you’ve been looking for all along.
If your CityBeat personal ad experience doesn’t work out, no need to worry — Date Cincy hosts events regularly with three coming up this month: A singles karaoke night Feb. 6 at Tokyo Kitty (150 capacity), a Valentine’s Day-themed takeover of the Cupid’s Corner pop-up at Cobblestone in Over-the-Rhine Feb. 12 (150 capacity) and a Feb. 21 single parents’ night out at Chasing Cali Collective (60 capacity).
CityBeat asked readers to submit their very own personal ads and missed connections last month to try something different for Valentine’s Day and an alternative to dating apps.
Browse the personal ad submissions below:
See if your missed connection is below:
This story is featured in CityBeat’s Feb. 5 print edition.
This article appears in Feb 5-18, 2025.