Cincinnati is a world unto itself, and with that world comes a language only Cincinnnatians can speak — and insults that only a Cincinnatian can be deeply wounded by.

Like, if someone were to call you boring, that may hurt a little. But if someone says that being stuck in rush-hour traffic on the Brent Spence Bridge is more enjoyable than your company, well, it’s time for some introspection. Or a fight.

If it comes down to a fight, we’ve created some of the best Cincinnati-specific insults you can use the next time someone wants to diss your chili or call out your cornhole skills. 

“Your mom catches more balls than Ja’Marr Chase.” Photo: twitter.com/bengals
Skyline Chili 3-Way Multiple Locations The history of Cincinnati-style chili goes back to the 1920s, when it was invented by Greek immigrants who used Mediterranean-inspired spices to create a meat sauce used initially to top hot dogs sold out of a cart. The beef-based sauce — it’s kind of like a runny pasta sauce with hints of cinnamon, chocolate and other spices — eventually became the key ingredient in the 3-way, a plate of pasta topped with chili, an unnecessary amount of shredded cheddar cheese and a side of oyster crackers. Adding onions to the 3-way makes it a 4-way; onions and beans make a 5-way. Local chain Skyline Chili was founded by Greek immigrant Nicholas Lambrinides in 1949, inspired by his mother’s family recipes from their hometown of Kastoria, Greece. In an eternal regional chili war, locals are divided over whether Skyline has the best chili and the other popular local chain, Gold Star, is for losers, or if it’s the other way around. You’ll find die-hard supporters of both. But if you want to go non-chain, there are more than 250 chili parlors in Cincinnati — restaurants big and small offering their own take on this regional favorite. Most people, however, start with Skyline. Photo via Facebook.com/SkylineChili Photo: Provided by Skyline
The Kenwood Mall The Kenwood Mall is always busy, but during the holiday season parking is an especially hot commodity. Photo: Google Maps
The Cincinnati Reds host the Chicago Cubs at Great American Ball Park on Oct. 5, 2022. Photo: Ron Valle
“Root for the Steelers. Insult goetta. Pay for an aisle seat so you don’t have to see the city from the window.” -thelibrarina Photo: daveynin/Wikimedia Commons
“You’re dumber than Richard Jones’ mustache.” Photo: butlersheriff.org
Alice OTR Photo: Hailey Bollinger
“I’d rather sit through a Crossroads service than listen to you.” Photo: Russell Bickel//CC BY-SA 4.0
“You’re trashier than The Banks at 2 a.m.” 2022 Google Maps
“You suck at cornhole.” Photo: Snaks, Flickr Creative Commons
“You’re about as stable as the Western Hills Viaduct.” Photo: City of Cincinnati
“You’re more dead inside than Joe Deters.” Photo: Hamilton County Livestream
You have at least one friend who claims to have been in the abandoned subway tunnels. It’s the ghost of what could have been. Photo: Nick Swartsell Photo: Nick Swartsell
Photo via Facebook.com/LaRosasPizzeria Photo: Facebook.com/LaRosasPizzeria
“I’d rather be stuck on I-75 during rush hour than be anywhere near you.” Photo: Formula One, Wikimedia Commons
You will avoid the Brent Spence Bridge at every opportunity. Photo: facebook.com/BrentSpenceInfo
“You’re more annoying than a 3CDC sign.” Photo: 3CDC
“You smell like the Mill Creek.” Photo: Nick Swartsell
“You’re weirder than a Bockfest parade.”* *[Could also be used as a compliment] Photo: Stephanie Scarbrough
“You’re from the East Side, huh?” Photo: Google Maps
[Alternatively] “You’re from the West Side, huh?” Google Maps
You’re familiar with the age-old question, “What high school did you go to?” It doesn’t matter if you’re fresh out of college or 55, the question still stands. Photo: Facebook.com/STXHS Photo: Facebook.com/STXHS