This Week in Questionable Decisions…
1. Yet again, The Bachelorette was interrupted last Monday by Trump’s face. This time to offer his SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh. He does not get a rose from us.
2. IHOb was a lie. The International House of Pancakes remains just that, as the company admitted its buzzed-about name change was only a temporary burger promotion.
3. Desus and Mero revealed that once they signed their new Showtime deal, VICELAND acted like a bitter ex and cancelled their nightly talk show two months ahead of contract.
4. Cardi B and Offset, whose government names — Belcalis Marlenis Almanzar and Kiari Kendrell Cephus — are even wilder than their stage monikers, had their baby and named her…Kulture Kiari Cephus. Kulture sounds like a Kylie Jenner baby name reject, and yet I kind of like it.
5. R.I.P. Costco Polish hot dogs. The store’s food court has nixed the popular sausage in favor of new, healthier fare.
6. R.I.P. Papa John’s career. P.J. himself John Schnatter stepped down as chairman (after stepping down as CEO in December) when it was revealed that he used the N-word on a conference call. Smooth, papa. He’s since been evicted from the P.J.’s offices and removed as spokesperson.
7. Henry Cavill offered some dumb remarks on #MeToo, saying he’s afraid if he talks to women he’ll be called a rapist.
8. Stormy Daniels was arrested in an Ohio strip club for “allegedly allowing a customer to touch her while on stage in a non-sexual manner.” Lucky for her, the charges were dismissed and she’s free to take on her next dancing gig in Atlanta, with a caveat: No motorboating. Seriously.
9. A new game show will have players compete to pay off their student loan debt. Fun!
10. Crocs is now selling a high-heeled version of their footwear monstrosities. For when you’ve got a kitchen shift at 5 but you’re going on a date a 10.
This article appears in Jul 11-18, 2018.