Locals Only: : Debunking The Myths

In semi-olden times, not far, far away, in the land of Bethel, three musical sons were born to town. The first guitarist, Bill Bundy, rocked out of the womb wearing an Electric Six T-shirt, playing a cobalt guitar. Teenage Bundy’s instrument spit fire, creating hooks.

Down the road, there were more strange occurrences. Bassist Scot Fithen appeared newborn with a blond goatee, playing trumpet. But soon, young Fithen “wanted to be cooler.” So he tested out drums and guitar. Later, he announced to passersby: “I was the worst guitar player, but I still wanted to be a Rock star, so I became a bass player.”

The third rock child, Scott Burgess, entered Bethel with ears pierced, strumming a curry-orange guitar. Wise Burgess knew this: “I always looked up to Bill, who taught me my first solo, but I’m more of rhythm player.”

In the Alternative ’90s era, the three men joined forces, collectively discovering the renaissance art of face painting, KISS and the Hotter Than Hell album, mimicking riffs.

Meanwhile, over the hills in Waynesburg, lead vocalist Steve Hess was born to a musical family. When Hess came out singing, his mom, a voice teacher, was overjoyed. Back then, Hess dabbled with bass, but his restless, alt-pipes pressed him into the rank of frontman. Hess’ hair grew strong, thick, tangled and moody, like his voice.

Soon Bundy, Fithen, Burgess and Hess united, bearing sound equipment as shields, forming the band Slur. In Vine Street’s dominant days, when saloon folks were in an uproar, Slur was a tough competitor in the musical battle of Corryville.

Legend says that the fifth musician, Mark White, was “on tour with Journey during that time.” Beginning with sax, then guitar, White came in drumming after finishing his mission as a Christian Bale impersonator and standup comic. Wearing low-top Chucks and a black T, White declared to the others, “I’m the new guy.”

The Myths became one entity in February 2006. When Fithen, a visual artist and sorcerer, saw a picture of the name in his head, the band embraced his vision.

Rehearsing at White’s dwelling, the five began playing downtown. Then they journeyed to gigs in foreign suburban lands, building a loyal fan base. Soon after, The Myths were No. 1 on the former 97.3 alternative station’s Homegrown show for a fortnight. For such a young troupe, fan support from the commoners was overwhelming. In response, recording on Bundy’s home equipment, The Myths made all songs available to the kingdom of MySpace.

The Myths’ musical ancestry includes The Ramones, The Sex Pistols, Wilco, Kiss, Led Zeppelin, Elvis, Johnny Cash, Juliana Hatfield and Black Sabbath.

Bundy proclaims, “It’s high energy, familiar, big Arena Rock. We try to grab that vibe.”

“Figure It Out,” begins in the melodic, varied, Incubus realm, later delving into straight Pop directly influenced by White’s percussion. “Divine” heads into Country territory, but this single also settles into Pop roots, ending creatively with a strange, distorted maiden’s voice. The mix makes the drums rowdy, but Hess’ vocals shine. His voice aches to stray into melodic zones, but the rhythm pushes him back to classic. More time should further blend these dueling influences.

Soon after The Myths formed, a “quit smoking campaign” was started, advertising the slogan, “Kill the myths before they kill you.” The band took the attack personally, wanting revenge against these buzz-killing dragons. The band’s slogan: “Don’t kill The Myths! Think of the fans!”

Fithen cries out, “We were like, ‘Why are they after us? They’re not giving us a chance!’ ”

Everyone laughs.

Bundy: “We definitely click. When we show up, people can tell the five of us are together.”

Burgess: “We’re a lot more successful now than when we were trying to be Rock stars way back when. History together makes that easier.”

Hess escapes first from my interrogation. Then all five players depart. Men must tend to wives and homesteads before the next quest. And before everyone can go home happily ever after the gig.

Aye, the end.

This article appears in Dec 6-12, 2006.