There is no exact timeline for healing a broken heart; but Suzy Hopkins’ and Hallie Bateman’s latest graphic memoir What to Do When You Get Dumped takes readers through 1,582 days of grief, healing and even smashing a litter box (because sometimes unleashing frustration on an inanimate object is a necessary part of the healing process).
The book launches locally on Jan. 21 at Joseph-Beth Booksellers in Norwood. Hopkins and Bateman will be in conversation with award-winning Detroit-based poet and friend Jacqueline Suskin during their book signing and author event at Joseph-Beth Booksellers.
When Hopkins’ husband of thirty years reconnected with a former flame and left their marriage, she –– as stated in the graphic memoir’s introduction –– “fell into a deep pit of disbelief, horror, grief, anger, and abject misery.” She wanted to know the steps to take to unbreak her heart but couldn’t find such a guide. What to Do When You Get Dumped is her answer to that.
The news came in 2018, around the time Hopkins and Bateman launched What to Do When I’m Gone, their first collaboration that gives step-by-step instructions on getting through life without one’s mom.
“We were about to do a bunch of publicity around [What to Do When I’m Gone], and I just said to myself: ‘God, I should have done What to Do When You Get Dumped, because I just felt so savagely dumped,” recalls Hopkins. “I muddled around and did stuff trying to get better. I moved to a new place and tried to set up a new life. I was still struggling. Three years in, I was still having a hard time.”
Bateman gifted her mom with a tarot card reading, where she was told she needed to write a memoir as a pathway to healing. Throughout the three-year process, Hopkins had journaled heavily. It’s what she knows; Hopkins reported and edited for four Northern California newspapers before running a community magazine for a decade. Hopkins recently moved to Cincinnati to be with Bateman, who gave birth to twins in 2024. Bateman previously lived in Los Angeles but moved to the Queen City, where her husband was from.
When her mom’s draft was complete, Bateman says they stole away to a cabin. Bateman sat with Hopkins’ manuscript and began shaping it into its final form with her quirky, relatable illustrations. (Bateman’s work has appeared in The New Yorker, New York Times Magazine and The Awl, among other publications.)
The time in the cabin consisted of back-and-forth dialogue to winnow Hopkins’ words into a comic format. Another element at play is that, as Hopkins points out, the topic this time around was Bateman’s dad.
“Trying to walk a line that’s not too personal and debating all these issues puts your head right back in that space of the fact that he left,” says Hopkins. Bateman adds that she had to learn that her mom might not always be able to hear her because the material itself could be triggering.
While they always have fun working together creatively, Hopkins points out that it wasn’t necessarily a fun project, eliciting a laugh from Bateman.
“If you want to put out a book to encourage others to feel less alone, Hallie’s art is able to convey that emotionally in a way that I respected even more on this project,” says Hopkins. “Even with my feeling heartbroken, I could look at this and say, ‘Oh, that is effective.’”
Anyone who has navigated a breakup is likely to find solace in Hopkins’ and Bateman’s work. While the graphic memoir can be highly specific –– i.e., Hopkins’ ex lamenting that he misses the dogs; her sister saying that his new girlfriend looks like her –– it’s also meant to feel universal.
“I think there’s something to how my mom tells her story with great specificity that hopefully allows people to look at their own experience and validate what they’re going through,” says Bateman.
Hopkins agrees, adding that she really did do some of the actionable steps mentioned in What to Do When You Get Dumped. For example, she really did make a list of the worst things that had ever happened to her.
Both What to Do When You Get Dumped and What to Do When I’m Gone were published through Bloomsbury. At first, they had trouble selling the idea of the latter book, with potential publishers thinking the topic wasn’t something people wanted to explore.
“What we learned through Bloomsbury trusting us in releasing [What to Do When I’m Gone], and the book going on and having quite a life and published in other languages, is that people are desperate to talk about grief,” says Bateman. “It’s really under-talked about. It obviously wasn’t our dearest wish to do a book about heartbreak. It just happened because of life. But, I think we learned how there was a place for this book.”
Empathetically created in both artwork and words, What to Do When You Get Dumped lays out healthy coping mechanisms, reassures readers that they aren’t alone (though they likely feel like it) and validates that it will take time to heal. It addresses topics like therapy, mental health, medication, asinine comments people make, the changes your body may go through and more.
While Hopkins says the process was “pretty miserable,” on the other side, she can say that her life really is better now. “I was able to come to Cincinnati because Hallie had twin babies and I can be with [them]. That wouldn’t have happened if I was married,” she says. (Bateman worked on the graphic memoir throughout her pregnancy).
Bateman adds: “It’s weird, Mom, because as someone who knows and loves you, you’re more you now. Would I have chosen to put you through that? Did I know that there were parts of you that were dampened down? I don’t know. But you are much more clear, Hopkins. You’re much more yourself.”
In a sense, the mother-daughter duo has come full circle. Even as a child, Bateman recalls her mom sending in stories to children’s magazines and letting her send her illustrations along with her words in the envelope.
“You did journalism,” says Bateman, “I figured out art, and we brought those things together at a time when books made sense.”
You can pre-order What to Do When You Get Dumped at Joseph-Beth Booksellers by visiting josephbeth.com. Joseph-Beth Booksellers will be hosting a book signing and discussion about the book at their Rookwood location on Jan. 21 at 7 p.m.
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This article appears in Jan 8-21, 2025.
