I don’t consider Kings Island a particularly “glamorous” place. Any of my daily concerns about generally avoiding a disheveled appearance go out the door once I pass through its entrance gates. For me, it’s always been a place of screams, blue ice cream-stained shirts, and rollercoaster-ruffled hair that just. Won’t. De-tangle.
So when I learned of their Food & Wine Festival, I felt a twinge of cognitive dissonance. It just seemed a little too fancy for the summertime chaos I’ve always associated with the park. I even asked myself whether the lines for wine might be on par with those of The Beast on a balmy summer Saturday.
I ultimately ended up being pleasantly surprised.
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My boyfriend, probably one of the bigger KI enthusiasts in the Tri-State, accompanied me to Kings Island on the last weekend of the festival. Having years of industry experience, he also happens to know enough about wine to be dangerous.
The weather that day was warm, but still surprisingly humidity-free for June, and the lines throughout the park were in turn long. We made the best of it, weaving through throngs of people wielding oversized plushies and braving hour-plus wait times for our favorite coasters.
As the day progressed, it got hot. It got crowded. Mystic Timbers began experiencing technical difficulties right as we got in line. I wondered – would the Food and Wine Festival offer some sort of respite? Or would it be a fancier carbon copy of a packed day at the park?
Toward evening, as we approached the Eiffel Tower, I spotted a mime – a literal mime – pretending to pull a rope near a wooded area right by the park’s historic Grand Carousel. The sound of an accordion somehow managed to overpower the chatter of the crowds and screams from nearby rides. A cluster of maroon tents organized by region offered wine flights and bites to a significantly smaller, but clearly locked in, crowd – I noticed many with wine brochures and pens in hands. A few stages hosted musical performances – including an impressive rendition of Sade’s “Smooth Operator” – and the glow of the carousel lights was visible through the greenery.
It almost felt like a mirage. But it ended up being a lovely – albeit unexpected – oasis. Despite the day’s frenzy, my boyfriend and I decided to take our time, going from tent to tent to try a wine each, and a few snacks while we were at it.
To clarify, I enjoy wine. I just haven’t developed a sophisticated vocabulary to describe it, and I personally reel at phrases like “dances on the tongue.” But what I lack in sommelier spirit can be made up for in Kings Island enthusiasm. So here’s the rundown on what we sampled from each of the tents, in the spirit of our beloved regional theme park.
Mediterranean
I tried the Kir Yianni Akakies, a sparkling rosé from Greece. It was bright, bubbly, and especially refreshing after a long day of standing in lines. Its description noted a taste of “wild strawberries,” and I can confirm its accuracy. I’d compare this delightful wine to a stroll through Planet Snoopy, and maybe a really, really slow – but wholesome – ride on the Woodstock Whirlybirds.
He tried the CVNE Cune, an organic Rioja from its namesake region in Spain. He noted that it probably could’ve used a little more time chilling before being served. This one had “notes of blackberries, currants, and light spice.” I gave it a sip, and described it as “watery.” He offered me an alternate description – “not much body” (I told you he knows things). On this latter note, I’ll compare it to the new Phantom Theater ride – get it?
Here, we also nibbled on the Cucumber Tomato Bruschetta, featuring ovoline cheese and a balsamic reduction. This was probably our favorite festival snack – piled high on mini naan breads, it was a surprisingly refreshing bite.
FRANCE
My boyfriend tried the Chateau Lamothe bordeaux blanc, with “notes of grapefruit, peach, and lemon.” Again, he noted “not much body,” although I observed that the wine was especially smooth. Because I’m already short on ghost puns, I’ll compare it to The Banshee.
I sampled the Château De Chénas Coeur De Granite, a gamay noir with notes of berries and florals, and with a “mineral-driven finish from granitic soils.” I once again delighted in a fruity, chilled wine. Because of its summer character, I’ll draw a parallel to my favorite, breezy coaster – Mystic Timbers .
We also tried the Charcuterie for Two, a standard, but welcome, assortment of meat, cheeses, nuts, and dried fruits, which paired well with a few of our subsequent tastings.
AUSTRALIA/NEW ZEALAND
I opted for the Yolumba Bush Vine grenache. This red had many nuanced hills of flavor – “raspberry, cherry, and spice,” according to its description. I’d compare it to the up’s and down’s of The Beast.
My boyfriend selected the Pewsey Vale dry riesling. While described as having flavors of “fresh lime zest” and “grapefruit,” it’s all white grapes to me. Sipping the light wine reminded me of a ride up the Eiffel Tower (at this point, he tells me to cut it out with the Kings Island comparisons, but I persist).
CALIFORNIA
For our last round, my boyfriend picked the Bonny Doon Le Cigare Orange, a grenache blanc. Despite what’s literally in the name, I’m still delighted by its orange color. Again, there wasn’t much body (I’m starting to notice a trend in my boyfriend’s wine taste here), but it was delightfully citrusy. Because it’s not like other wines, and therefore maybe a little underrated, I’ll draw a parallel to The Bat.
For my final selection, I go for the Brassfield Estate pinot gris. With tastes of pear and green apple, I loved the delightfully vibrant, refreshing flavor. It’s just like a ride on Windseeker – after the sun goes down.
Now, was riding Adventure Express, the Zephyr, Orion, and Shake, Rattle & Roll following the equivalent of a wine flight and plenty of cheese the wisest? Probably not (I’m fine).
But when you get so caught up in hitting every ride you can before day’s end, I can especially appreciate what the Food & Wine Festival offers – a chance to sit down, and actually take it all in. For all of the thrills and record-defying coasters, it’s easy to forget that Kings Island really is a beautiful, historic park. And I discovered my own dolce vita moment on a late summer afternoon there – in Kings Island of all places. Who knew it was possible?
