Thanksgiving is a great excuse to eat whatever we want, as much we want — why can’t the same go for what we watch?
Portlandia (9 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Thursday, IFC) – Plenty of these skits have a dinner table tie-in: cacao, gluten, celery…
Adventure Time (9 a.m.-2 p.m. Thursday, Cartoon Network) – Kick off the lazy day with Jake, Finn and friends.
Friends (10 a.m.-5 p.m. Thursday, TBS) – All 10 Thanksgiving-themed episodes, plus a couple extra favorites for good measure.
Modern Family (10 a.m.-midnight Thursday, USA) – Because the holidays and crazy families go together like mashed potatoes and gravy.
Knife Fight (11 a.m.-8 p.m. Thursday, Esquire) – Hopefully your kitchen isn’t as cutthroat.
Orphan Black (midnight-6 a.m. Friday, BBC America) – Fan favorite episodes fill this “Orphan Black Friday” marathon.
Hannibal (On Demand, Amazon, Hulu) – While there’s no dedicated marathon running, anyone who isn’t caught up on NBC’s masterpiece Hannibal ought to fix that. When dinner’s over and the leftovers are packed away, dig into this feast for the senses. Dr. Lecter makes eating people look good.
WEDNESDAY NOV. 26
Planes, Trains and Automobiles (8 p.m., The CW) – John Candy and Steve Martin navigate holiday travel in this hilarious slice of John Hughes perfection.
A Saturday Night Live Thanksgiving (9 p.m., NBC) – Calling all the Back Home Ballers! SNL’s top Turkey Day skits, from acoustic Adam Sandler to Debbie Downer.
THURSDAY NOV. 27
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (9 a.m.-noon, NBC) – The 88th annual spectacle features performances by Idina Menzel, KISS, Meghan Trainor and Quvenzhané Wallis (Annie); scenes from Broadway’s Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder, The Last Ship, On the Town, Side Show and Finding Neverland; and new balloons like Paddington Bear, Thomas the Tank Engine and the red Power Ranger.
Thanksgiving Day Parade (9 a.m.-noon, CBS) – Another view of the parade’s balloons and floats, plus a special performance by New York City’s Global Welcome Ambassador Taylor Swift.
A Very Bonnaroo Thanksgiving (9 p.m., VH1) – Learn how to turn that leftover turkey carcass into a bong!
All-Star Non-Denominational Christmas Special (10 p.m., Comedy Central) – A celebration of/assault on all holidays from the stars of Broad City, Workaholics, Key & Peele, Kroll Show and more.
FRIDAY NOV. 28
La Bare (Premiere, 9 p.m., Showtime) – Dubbed “The Real Magic Mike,” this documentary goes behind the G-string (sorry) to look into the lives of the men at world-famous male strip club La Bare Dallas. Joe Manganiello (Alcide from True Blood, Big Dick Richie from Magic Mike) directs.
SATURDAY NOV. 29
Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever (8 p.m., Lifetime) – Finally, a Lifetime movie we can fully support! Internet-famous feline Tardar Sauce — known better as Grumpy Cat — teaches a child the meaning of Christmas via Aubrey Plaza’s signature snarky voice.
SUNDAY NOV. 30
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (8:30 p.m., Fox) – When Santiago and Jake must go on a work trip, he invites both of their significant others to join them at a B&B. Back at the station, Rosa insists on working through an illness and Boyle has big plans for Holt’s wedding anniversary breakfast.
The Walking Dead (Midseason Finale, 9 p.m., AMC) – Well, so much for a peaceful exchange of hostages. In this final episode of the year, Rick tries to come to a reasonable agreement with the hospital crew, but it just may be another battle for our group. Elsewhere, Father Gabriel tries to make sense of recent events and his dangerous surroundings. On Talking Dead, Robert Kirkman and Keegan Michael Key are joined by a “surprise guest.” You know what that means…
TUESDAY DEC. 2
The Mindy Project (9:30 p.m., Fox) – Mindy takes on Peter as a project, focusing on improving his living situation instead of her own relationship with Danny. It was recently announced that Adam Pally (Peter) will be leaving Mindy shortly after the show’s return from hiatus in 2015.
Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce (Series Premiere, 10 p.m., Bravo) – For those who feel the “Housewives” are too “real,” Bravo tries its hand at scripted television. Janeane Garofalo plays a supporting role. Weird.
Sons of Anarchy (10 p.m., FX) – The truth is finally out, and Jax is on the hunt for Gemma as he tries to patch up alliances in this penultimate episode of Sons.
CONTACT JAC KERN: jkern@citybeat.com or @jackern
This article appears in Nov 19-25, 2014.