Immersed in December’s cloak and crouched under winter’s encroaching gloam, we find the coziest comfort and shelter from long wintry nights through communion with friends, family and loved ones, at office holiday parties or in the festively festooned dining halls of close relations. But in this beleaguered and remarkably surreal cultural and political landscape, holiday gatherings can turn from safe spaces of comfort and joy to crudite-fueled apocalyptic fêtes wherein you and the people you know realize that there are in fact those out there — people you love and care about — who don’t agree with your point of view.
At moments like these, disillusioned by the carefully curated social media cocoon you’ve built for yourself, true and gentle humility is required. During this holiday season it’s necessary, more than ever, to disavow your personal and political beliefs and bury them deep within yourself so we can all reflect on the light of our respective menorahs, yule logs and other burning things that we have gathered ’round to warm our hearts and raise our collective spirits. So let us reminisce, feast and drink by the fire while we engage our fellow friends in polite conversation that brings forth togetherness and bridges the darkness to ethereal merriment and light.
Let tact in discourse be tantamount at the end of 2016. Uninvite divisive topics to holiday get-togethers in this season of gaiety and instead focus on the warmth and sanctuary of timeless neutrality. Let the following tips guide you toward a confrontation-free holiday full of non-controversial discourse.
Tip 1: Remember the archetype of the Christ Child, who represents change, future, unification and healing.
As we begin our festivities, let us flatter our fellow party-goers by reminiscing about childhood memories, manifesting the inner Christ residing in all of us: “In childhood renderings, did you imagine rain as drops or lines? Fascinating! What images did you depict most often? I never would have expected such a thing! What was your most treasured illustration?” Questions such as these can provide fodder for hours of delightful discourse. Should a fellow celebrant manifest images which conflict with our idyllic youth, we graciously nod as if to express sympathy, and then gather some new friends round the hearth for yule-tidings and joy.
Tip 2: Build a modest fire as a reflection of the spirit, and drink eggnog; this alone can be sufficient to inspire conversation.
An elixir of creaminess, spice and enchantment, the mysteries of nog continue to intrigue even the most stoic and intellectually content among us. “What is nog? How did it come to be? What is it made of? And such a curious name!” We all investigate this topic by the fire. “We must reflect on this question over a glass of nog. Mmm. Lactose intolerant, you say? Interesting! Is it milk? Is it egg? I do not know. An experiment! I insist you drink this nog. Let us warm our intellect in the noble and neutral pursuit of science!” Oh, how many boisterous debates could arise from such questions!
Tip 3: Sport is refuge, a place of solace and comfort, from our struggles in labor and politics.
Who among us does not enjoy sport? Surely, even the most choleric temperaments can flush sanguine at the mention of winter sport. Digesting our apertifs allows ample time to expound on great feats of athleticism, past and future alike. How could such a dignified matter possibly create discord? The majesty of a halfback in full stride, the fearlessness of a downhill skier mid-slalom, the hope of a three-point field goal at the sound of the buzzer: We are the play-actor as we become our favorite sportspersons through vivid narrative and vigorous pantomime! Even the descriptions of spirited pre- and mid-contest ceremonies — certainly they too are devoid of any politic, gush with amity. Discuss, discuss, discuss with no fear of breaching sensitivities here.
Tip 4: Food sustains our souls, community and spirit.
The wafting aroma of a Christmas roast, a Hanukkah brisket or yule shank seduces us into the dining quarters. We serve compliments to the chef often and generously: “This roast is so tender,” and “I’ve never before seen such a beautifully fired brisket.” We drift with the ebb and flow of conversation, helping others expound on culinary experiences, and showing our holiday savoir-faire: “What exotic plants and animals have you ingested in your life? How wonderful! Where did you encounter such unusual cuisine? Brilliant! How many times does one chew such fare?” Often the luminance of our own curiosity can rival even the Star of Bethlehem itself.
Tip 5: A body replete suffuses the mind with ideas.
After expressing gratitude for sustenance, we retire to the parlor. Affairs here can range from musings on scented candles, “What is this marvelous bouquet? The essence of pine with cues of lavender reminds me of the rosemary bushes and lavender plants of Tuscany,” to introspections about ornamental vases, “Terracotta often looks too common for my taste, but with the right glaze it is just an outstanding complement to dried orchids.” There is no wrong or right. Everyone is jovial and radiant after such a convivial holiday feast.
Tip 6: Intimacy brings comfort in the cold. Enlightenment shows us the path home.
Naturally, we are intoxicated by the sentiment of unsparing goodwill. It seems as if effortlessly we are transposed to the pleasant brume of the steam sauna, where still we find warmth, even as the first winter snow enshrouds the last of fall’s leaves in a new year’s mantle. In the festive confines of the host’s steam room, we can find inspiration from body shapes and birthmarks. Art and landscapes are always apropos. “Why, your mole! It looks spot on Botticelli’s ‘Madonna of the Pomegranate.’ What a charming bit of melanin!” No doubt, in some rare instances, we may find ourselves in a locale bereft of sauna amenities. In such cases we simply improvise. A constant running hot shower or four boiling pots filled with water and placed strategically atop the stove can provide a fine atmosphere for conversing about art and panorama. ©
This article appears in Dec 7-14, 2016.