Notes: The Freddies and I recorded this song live at Go To Your Room Studios on Monday night. We got it right on the second take. I originally wrote this song as one of those Talkin’ Blues numbers, but Sarah convinced me to gas it up a bit. I like the result of her advice, even though she charged me $3-a-minute for the help. The one-year anniversary of the Pope’s death makes this song more or less a tribute. The rest of the song just guzzles along at 10 miles to the gallon.
Ain’t Saved Enough
Verse 1
I been trying to get to Heaven, I ain’t had much luck It’s an awful long trip, all I got is a truck I ain’t opposed to going, but I’ll probably have to pass
Truck’s on empty and I can’t afford gas
I started praying, asking for some kind of sign
I was looking down low, I was looking up high
Finally, I found one, way up in the sky
it said Unleaded Regular $3.25
Good God, I’m trying to get to Heaven
Good God, gas price going up
Good God, guess I’ll never get to Heaven
My pocket book’s empty; I ain’t saved enough
Verse 2
Bumped into my neighbor, an old, mean heathen
Wasn’t a chance in Hell he was going to Eden
I didn’t covet his wife, didn’t covet his land
But I coveted his car cuz it had a full tank
Bible says , “Treat your neighbor as you want to be treated”
So I treated myself to his little two-seater
I didn’t steal his car, just borrowed his tank of gas
And it just so happened that his car was attached
Verse 3
After cruising towards Heaven, traffic started to slow
Something ahead was stuck in the middle of the road
Two cars out of gas in the fast lane,broke
One was Billy Graham’s, the other was the Pope’s
These Heaven-bound men asked me for a ride
But I only had one seat left on my side
And with my tank near empty and my pocketbook dry, I said
Good luck Billy Graham, Mr. Pope get inside
Verse 4
With the Pope riding shotgun, there wasn’t any waiting
We went to fill up at the first gas station
The Pope said, “I’ll pay as long as you’re saved.”
I topped off the tank and screamed, “Whatever you say!”
The Pope looked happy; we were on our way
Till we reached St. Peter at the Pearly Gate
“Are you saved?” he asked, standing by my fender
Said, “I ain’t saved much but I’m a religious spender”
Verse 5
The Pope showed his pocketbook, Peter let him by
But he glared at me with his Hell-bent eye
Said you ain’t got saved, so you can’t pass
I said I spent all I saved on overpriced gas
If you wanna get to Heaven, I say good luck
You’ll spend your whole life just trying to save up
And once you save your soul, you’ll spend it all on gas
Even Billy Graham ain’t saved enough for that.
This article appears in Apr 26 – May 2, 2006.