Watch this week’s episode of Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites, “Persona Non Grata” here. Warning: It’s almost week two on an island for these guys and watching this episode made me really itchy. (Skip to the last minute to check out a preview of next week’s ep, “Operation Thunder Dome”)
What a brain-numbingly dumb episode.
Since, last week, Reynold played his immunity idol and the majority Gota alliance voted off one of their own (Laura), the fans seem a little more evenly matched and less divided post-council.
This week’s reward challenge requires two members of each tribe to keep a net elevated by holding a rope. The rest of the survivors must then try to throw coconuts into the nets of their opponents. The heavier the nets, the more difficult it becomes to hold them off the ground. Matt and Michael take on the nets for the fans while Brandon and Phillip hold it down for the faves. The reward is a barbeque, complete with meats, veggies, bread and wine.
As the coconuts pile in, the nets become extremely heavy. Once again, Reynold excelled, not seeming to miss a single throw. Brandon was the first to let go, then Matt and Michael, giving the favorites yet another win.
Back at Gota’s camp, the search for the hidden immunity idol begins again. And because the number one rule of Survivor is that it pays to be attractive, Reynold found it again! And so “the bulge” returns. “This is how you play Survivor!” Reynold says, noting he needs to keep it more of a secret this time. But he immediately tells his homegirl, Eddie.
#prettypeople4lyfe!
Over in Bikal, a dumb egotistical tiff between Brandon and Phillip ending with Brandon expressing that he hopes he doesn’t lose control… So who can guess what happens later?!
The weather on the island has been pretty rough, with heavy rains continuing for two straight days. Cut to Matt’s gnarly feet:
“My feet just look like a dead person’s feet”
The other tribe has received multiple rewards that have helped bolster their shelter, but all of the fans’ possessions are completely soaked. Matt wishes upon a raindrop the something good come their way…
Over at the favorites tribe, Phillip decides the team should throw the upcoming immunity challenge in order to get rid of Brandon. Word gets around faster on this island than a junior high cafeteria, so Brandon gets wind of the plan almost immediately. And HE PISSED.
Because, logically, you’re more of a man if you sabotage yourself than facing the challenge at hand, Brandon storms the team’s shelter and dumped their pots of beans and rice onto the jungle floor, shouting completely sane things like, “I’m the author of my fate!” and “What now, bitch?”
Later that day, as the tribes meet for the immunity challenge, the omniscient Jeff Probst asks Brandon how things were going. Brandon requests to address the other tribe. He rambled a bunch of hard-to-follow smack about how the fans will have an opportunity to make this a real game, and to not let Phillip get too far. Corrine interrupts to announce that Bikal would like to forfeit the challenge, and handle this issue in tribal council.
Jeff invited the visibly unstable Brandon to join him on neutral ground, where B rants on about controlling his own fate — despite the obvious outcome of any scenario is Brandon going home — and Jeff proceeds to give him what appeared to be a deep tissue massage. After minutes of childlike bickering, escalating accusations, Jeff awards immunity (albeit by default) to Gota and holds tribal council right then and there. With a farewell shoulder rub, Jeff sends Brandon off (not allowing him to return to the camp).
Cue the music:
Next week: Philip plans to take out Corrine and vice versa, but is a team switch-up on the way?
This article appears in Mar 13-19, 2013.