Cincinnati City Council Application from 'Big Johnny' Focuses on Testicles, Bible Study, Miami Marlins

If you're "Big Johnny" – and can prove it – we'd love to talk to you.

Share on Nextdoor
click to enlarge Is Johnny 5 from Short Circuit trying to join Cincinnati City Council? - Photos: Jesse Fox; Tri-Star Pictures
Photos: Jesse Fox; Tri-Star Pictures
Is Johnny 5 from Short Circuit trying to join Cincinnati City Council?

According to Cincinnati City Council member Reggie Harris' team, there were dozens of applications for the council seat that Greg Landsman will vacate in January when he heads to Congress. But one application immediately was taken out of the running — and we're beginning to see why.

"Big Johnny" was one of nearly 50 applicants for Landsman's council seat but is not being considered due to their "joke application," Gus Ricksecker, Harris' chief of staff, recently told CityBeat. To be considered for the council appointment, applicants needed to answer questions about issues they champion, share their goals for the position and for the council and submit their résumé and a cover letter between Nov. 22-27. Ricksecker said that of the applications received, 38 of them included all required items and are being considered.

CityBeat does not know if "Big Johnny" submitted all required materials (we're checking with Ricksecker), but the mysterious applicant did answer Harris' questionnaire — and in what we'd call an irreverent manner. From what CityBeat can gather, "Big Johnny" projects confidence and is pro-worker (except for oddly supporting "Right to Work" legislation), pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ+ and generally pro-social good.

But still, CityBeat is curious about "Big Johnny" — Is their name a reference to the robot in Short Circuit or Keanu Reeves' titular character in John Wick? What's their motivation in applying?  What are their true feelings about Cincinnati and the city's government? — And we're interested in talking to the applicant. If you're "Big Johnny" and can prove it, email CityBeat managing editor Allison Babka at [email protected].

"Big Johnny's" questionnaire answers are below, with some questions in truncated form as CityBeat received them.

Q: Do you support the right to collective bargaining for public + private workers?
"Big Johnny": Yes

Q: Please briefly indicate why you selected the answer above.
"BJ": My boys need to have my back

Q: Do you support legislation to protect and provide equal rights for all individuals regardless of gender, race, age, religion, ethnic origin, disability, sexual orientation, or gender identity?
"BJ": Yes

Q: Please briefly indicate why you selected the answer above.
"BJ": I've been discriminated against in the past because of my large testicles

Q: Do you support expanded access to childcare, dependent care programs, and early childhood education?
"BJ": Yes

Q: Please briefly indicate why you selected the answer above.
"BJ": Preschool was the best three years of my life

Q: Do you support a woman's right to reproductive choice?
"BJ": Yes

Q: Please briefly indicate why you selected the answer above.
"BJ": Hands off uteruses!

Q: Do you support measures designed to ensure food, healthcare, and housing security for everyone?
"BJ": Yes

Q: Please briefly indicate why you selected the answer above.
"BJ": I will personally provide housing security for all in need

Q: Do you support Right-to-Work legislation?
"BJ": Yes

Q: Please briefly indicate why you selected the answer above.
"BJ": It sounds good

Q: Do you support paying everyone a living wage?
"BJ": Yes

Q: Please briefly indicate why you selected the answer above.
"BJ": *Except for my ex wife Linda

Q: Why do you want to be appointed to Cincinnati City Council?
"BJ": I am the biggest and the brightest.

Q: If appointed, will you commit to running for election in 2023? What is your past experience with running for office or campaigning?
"BJ": My commitments to the Miami Marlins take precedence, but yes otherwise I will run for president in 2023.

Q: This council has articulated clear priorities and values related to investing in core services, public safety, housing, equity, pedestrian safety, and sustainability. Please share (1) relevant per...
"BJ": No, but thanks for asking.

Q: This council has committed to cultivating and maintaining a healthy culture of respect, decorum, critical analysis, and healthy debate. Please share how you would help build and maintain a healthy...
"BJ": At my Bible Study I led an initiative to jump in any new members

There were 49 total applicants for Cincinnati City Council, with 38 of those completing all requirements and being fully considered. Seven people did not submit full applications. The aforementioned "Big Johnny's" application was rejected for being a joke.

Landsman has designated Harris as the council member who will appoint Landsman's successor.

Harris is presenting the list of 38 viable applicants during the council’s Nov. 29 public safety and governance committee meeting, soliciting feedback from the council about the qualities Landsman's successor should have. Later this week, Harris expects to share a narrowed list of candidates to be interviewed. During a Nov. 22 address with Landsman, Harris noted that he would announce who he would appoint as the new council member during the week of Dec. 5.

Landsman has said that because he will be sworn in as a congressman on Jan. 3, he plans to formally resign his Cincinnati City Council position on Jan. 2. His successor then would take the city’s oath of office that morning.


Coming soon: CityBeat Daily newsletter. We’ll send you a handful of interesting Cincinnati stories every morning. Subscribe now to not miss a thing.

Follow us: Google News | NewsBreak | Reddit | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Scroll to read more Cincinnati News articles

Newsletters

Join CityBeat Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.