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“WOW!” That’s what I said to myself on that fall day in 1985 in UC’s Armory Fieldhouse when I saw you at the top of that pyramid of bodies as I gawked at you during your cheerleading practice. The vision of your athletic legs and tight butt indelibly printed on my mind as I walked home.
“Who is dat?” is what I asked myself later that same school year when I observed you as No. 1 on the pledge line of Delta Sigma Theta sorority.
“Can I buy you a snack?” was my best line as I meandered to the periodical desk where you worked at UC’s Langsam Library in February 1986.
“I sure do, Pastor!” is how I answered when Bishop Michael Dantley asked me if I took you to be my lawfully wedded wife in February 1990 at Christ Emmanuel Christian Fellowship.
I told you “I’m proud of you!” when you earned your master’s degree in Business Administration in June 1992.
In February 1995, after 17 hours of labor with our first child, I asked, “How do you feel?”
You didn’t have to answer that one. Your glare said it all.
When you told me you were pregnant with our third child upon my return from a business trip in February, all I could tell you was, “See! Couldn’t leave Big Daddy alone, could you?”
The Bible says he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing. Kelly, you are my good thing.
The woman you have become overwhelms me.
You excelled in corporate America even when you weren’t recognized or rewarded for your accomplishments. You were bold enough to leave a $100,000-a-year job to start your own company.
Your gifts and talents are many. But your commitment to your faith, our sons and me are what make you extra. I have found a faithful woman!
You loved me when I have been totally self-absorbed. When I didn’t think I wanted to be married to you anymore, you loved me. When I was irresponsible, you loved me. When I was sick, afraid, in mourning, disabled, violent and unlovable, you loved me.
I see black women all around creating drama-filled lives in their quest to be made whole by some piece of a man. Like you, they have a hole in their souls the shape of their fathers. These women assume the role of victim as they’re gamed by the P-I-M-Ps.
In spite of the hurt and pain you suffered, you refused to be taken advantage of by anyone. Including me.
You inspire me. You and I have experienced so much together. In 16 years, I feel as though we have lived and loved a lifetime.
Your relationship with the Lord has held us together. We now are forever bonded together! When I think about what the Lord is building in our family, tears come to my eyes.
No one has seen all of Kenny except for Kelly. I like my public persona. Some even love it. How could anyone know everything about a person that you know about me and still love that person? You love the real me when I’m not even sure that I love myself.
You’ve been my wife, lover, mother of my children, counselor, financial advisor, confidant and my cheerleader. I scarcely remember my life before you. I couldn’t imagine my life without you.
The only thing I can say now is, “Thank you!”
I’m asking you to trust me. Let go.
I won’t let you fall. You are my soulmate.
That’s the way I feel about you…
This article appears in May 7-13, 2003.
