Men Are the Worst…
Some might say men had the worst year ever in 2017, and they fucking deserved it! Movie mogul and noted massage forcer Harvey Weinstein was exposed for his rampant sexual harassment and assaults in what was apparently a gross open secret in Hollywood. (Between Weinstein and the late-summer hurricane, the name Harvey is officially ruined.)
The movie exec’s deserved fall gave way to hundreds of high-profile men making headlines for their vile behavior. The growing number of men accused includes (deep breath): actors Kevin Spacey, Jeffrey Tambor, Louis C.K., Dustin Hoffman and T.J. Miller; media figures Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, Tavis Smiley, Mark Halperin and Garrison Keillor; current and former athletes Marshall Faulk, Ike Taylor, Heath Evans and Jameis Winston; chefs John Besh, Mario Batali and Johnny Iuzzini; filmmakers James Toback, Brett Ratner and Morgan Spurlock; current and former politicians George H. W. Bush, Roy Moore and Al Franken; TV execs Roy Price and Andrew Kreisberg; famed conductor James Levine and Hip-Hop mogul Russell Simmons. Accusations ranged from crude comments to groping to rape, but people are finally starting to learn that there have to be consequences for inappropriate behavior even at the slightest level, particularly when it comes to men in positions of power. Unless you’re the president, I guess.
…But Pussy Grabs Back
If anything good came out of the oozing of male chauvinism and misconduct, it’s that women rose to the top as people around the world — not just celebrities and public figures — found a platform to share their experiences and support from other survivors and allies. In January, millions participated in women’s marches in Washington, here in Cincinnati and in cities across the globe. The streets ran pink with knit “pussy hats” and arguably the most clever protest signage ever. Women — and people of color — found greater representation in entertainment, thanks in part to major pop culture moments from Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman, Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird, Cardi B, the first female Doctor Who (Jodie Whittaker), Selena Gomez, the women-led Big Little Lies, Girls Trip, The Handmaid’s Tale and Insecure. The 47th annual New York City Marathon had its first American woman winner in 40 years. Women, LGBTQ and other minorities saw historical wins in the November election (not to mention black women pretty much single-handedly keeping Roy Moore out of office). TIME magazine’s Person of the Year title went to the “Silence Breakers,” the women — and men — who had come forward with stories of sexual assault and harassment. Cheers to the ladies in our lives who seized this difficult year and came out stronger.
Fiona to the Rescue
One ray of light in an often bleak year came from the Cincinnati Zoo, home to social media sensation Fiona the hippo. Mama Bibi gave birth six weeks early in January to a teeny tiny 29-pound girl. That might sound like a giant baby, but because she’s a preemie, she was about 25 pounds lighter than the lowest recorded birth weight for her species. When the world needed a hero, Fiona stepped in, growing, thriving and sassing around before our collective eyes. She’s now clocking in at more than 600 pounds and is still as adorable as ever! #BodyPositivity In the last year, Fiona has inspired a beer, an internet series, books, an engagement and endless merch and became a hero to preemies everywhere! Unfortunately her father, Henry, died on Oct. 31 at 36 years old (living longer than the average hippo). But Fiona remains happy and healthy, living out her days at Hippo Cove (indoors for the winter months) with Bibi and her many adoring fans. Way to bounce back from the Harambe disaster of 2016, Cincinnati Zoo, and give animal lovers in Cincinnati and around the world something we can all agree on and love!
Nothing But Respect for My President
In a more fabulous alternate universe, I like to think Beyoncé and Jay Z are our benevolent supreme rulers. And what a year our Queen B had. In February, she broke the internet with a double-whammy announcement: She was pregnant…with twins! She bestowed upon us a conceptual HIGH ART maternity photoshoot complete with big-sis-to-be Blue Ivy. A week later she performed at the Grammys looking like a knocked-up golden goddess and snatched two trophies (ROBBED!) for Lemonade. Bey laid low for a while after that, postponing her Coachella performance to 2018 due to growing double humans. It was reported and later confirmed that she will be voicing Nala in Jon Favreau’s live-action Lion King remake and producing the soundtrack, reworking the original tunes with Elton John himself. Meanwhile, Jay dropped 4:44, a confessional album where Mr. Carter got real about being a husband, father and black man in America. He opened up about his infidelity to Beyoncé here and in a subsequent interview, but it now seems like the Fierce First Family is stronger than ever. They welcomed son Sir and daughter Rumi on June 13. Fingers crossed for a family band announcement in 2018.
Cincinnati in the Spotlight
Fiona wasn’t the only story to put Cincy/Ohio on the map this year.
• When Sean Spicer was appointed White House Press Secretary (R.I.P. Jan. 20-July 21, 2017) old photos of him in a Cincinnati-made Easter Bunny suit went viral.
• Thrillist published a post titled “Every State’s Grossest Food (That People Actually Love),” in which Ohio is represented by the Cincinnati chili five-way. In related news, Skyline changed its crackers and the city nearly burned.
• Travel + Leisure named the Queen City one of the 50 best places to travel in 2017 late last year and detailed a three-day weekend guide for visitors this spring.
• Local entrepreneur Rick Pescovitz made a deal with Shark Tank’s Mark Cuban for his Under the Weather pods that shield sports spectators from the elements.
• Women dressed like characters from The Handmaid’s Tale crashed the Ohio Senate as legislators made their case for Ohio’s SB 145, which would criminalize abortions in the second trimester.
• Butler County native Luke Null, a Lakota East grad and Ohio University alum, joined the cast of Saturday Night Live.
This Year in Questionable Decisions: The Trump Regime Edition
• Trump claimed his scantly attended swearing-in boasted the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration. It didn’t.
• He tweeted, “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.” (no context needed) and doubled down on the typo.
• He threatened military action against North Korea and referred to Kim Jong-un as “rocket man” in his UN speech.
• He pulled out of the Trans-Pacific Partnership and Paris Agreement.
• Trump tweeted a ban (this is something that happens now) on transgender people in the military, citing budget issues despite the fact that the Pentagon spends five times more on Viagra than transgender medical services.
• After a “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Va., ended in the death of a peaceful protester, Trump noted that there were “some very fine people on both sides.”
• Trump ordered a travel ban on people from Muslim-majority countries, including Syrian refugees.
• He picked fights with U.S. allies, athletes, actors and a Gold Star widow.
• He constantly discredits legitimate news media while promoting biased outlets and nationalistic propaganda.
• He screwed over Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria, attacking San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz, threatening to pull support and throwing paper towel rolls into crowds during his visit.
• He ended the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA), threatening the security of “Dreamers” who immigrated as children.
• Finally, he spent most of his time in office golfing in Florida while downing 12 Diet Cokes a day.
CONTACT T.C. BRITTON: letters@citybeat.com
This article appears in Dec 20-27, 2017.
