Here's How Barbie Would Live if Her Dreamhouse Were in Cincinnati

Barbie’s Dreamhouse You simply can’t talk about Barbie’s life in Cincinnati without picking out her Barbie Dreamhouse. Now, keep in mind, this is Cincinnati’s version, which is why Ms. Barb would wake up, open her window and say “Hi, Barbie!” to shop merchants from her 1880 Italianate at Findlay Market. Photo by: Cincinnati Revealed Instagram

Sugar n’ Spice Diner 4381 Reading Road, Paddock Hills (temporarily closed); 1203 Sycamore St., Pendleton; 10275 Summit Parkway, Blue Ash If you had to pick one Barbie business in all of Cincinnati, it might have to be Sugar n’ Spice. The chrome diner exterior makes you wish you were a giant so you could pick it up with one hand, holding your always-shoeless Barbie in the other. In Cincinnati’s Barbieland, you float inside the dreamy, pastel-pink interior and float up to the bar for a mimosa and coffee. Barbie knows the “Whispy Thin” banana pancakes at Sugar n’ Spice are to die for. She orders two with a side of sunnyside eggs and bacon. The result is a classic picture-perfect breakfast fit for Barbieland. Photo: Hailey Bollinger

Hi-Bred 4041 Hamilton Ave., Northside While we’re gobbling up modern Barbie’s fashion in Greta Gerwig’s new movie, there’s just something so Barbie about the iconic doll’s vintage style. Hi-Bred Vintage in Northside can outfit you and your crew for a retro-themed screening of Barbie. Photo: facebook.com/HiBredLife

Good Judy’s 4169 Hamilton Ave., Northside Come on, Barbie, let’s go party…at Good Judy’s. The boutique dive drag bar radiates an all-Barbies-welcome energy. Kitchy frames upon floral wallpaper are lit with moody pink lights and the twinkle of floating chandeliers. Wear your tallest heels and prepare to be transported to a magical land of queer positivity and beauty. Photo: Provided by Good Judy's

Ziegler Park Pool 216 Woodward St., Pendleton Barbie wouldn’t be Barbie without a pool, and we know just the one for her in Cincinnati. Those who have stopped by Ziegler Park Pool recently know the area has Barbie written all over it. The newly expanded Ziegler Park has given the pool area a cozy extension with turf grass and a soon-to-open taco spot. The bright green faux grass and multi-color murals lining the pool feel straight out of the Barbieland set. Photo: Hailey Bollinger

Take a Spin on Carol Ann’s Carousel 8 E. Mehring Way, The Banks Nestled between Great American Ball Park and Paul Brown Stadium, Smale Riverfront Park is dotted with fountains, gardens, an event lawn, a labyrinth, a playground and Carol Ann’s glass-enclosed, year-round carousel. Open select days and hours depending on the season, it features 44 whimsical, Cincinnati-centric creatures for you to ride, delighting your kids and bringing out the inner kid in yourself. Each ride is $2 a person, but you get discounts if you buy multiple rides. Photo: Jesse Fox

Manicures at Spruce Nail Shop 1818 Race St., Suite 101, Over-the-Rhine I mean, duh. Spruce has long reigned supreme for their adorable setting and impressive nail techs. Often holding themed events with custom nail art and boppy music, Spruce has captured a communal experience in the self-care splurge. If long, pink, impossibly shiny nails are the Barbie look you’re going for, book with Spruce. Photo: facebook.com/sprucenailshop

Hair at 316 Beauty Salon 3548 Montgomery Road, Evanston Scanning the gallery of 316 Beauty Salon ignites the sudden urge for a completely new hairstyle. The ladies at 316 leave clients feeling and looking like their Barbie-self. The salon’s website says all hair textures are welcome to book at 316, and service options even include waxing and mani-pedis. Barbie, of course, would stop next door at Cream + Sugar Coffeehouse for a post-salon treat. Photo: facebook.com/316Beautysalon

Tom Wesselmann, Still Life #60 mural 811 Main St., Downtown Of all the murals that Barbie could pose in front of in Cincinnati, it would be the giant lipstick at 811 Main St. Tom Wesselmann’s Still Life #60 is a billboard-sized still life painting composed of six separate shaped canvas panels. According to ArtWorks, Wesselmann was born in Cincinnati and attended both the University of Cincinnati and the Art Academy before moving to New York City. The hot pink lipstick, the ring peering at the audience in front of a pair of sunglasses. Barbie gets it. Hailey Bollinger, Paige Deglow, Emerson Swoger and ©2018 Google

Cincinnati Rollergirls We’re writing to Mattel NOW to insist the mega-brand make a Cincinnati Rollergirls Barbie. While the skater gang of kickass derby girls is usually found wearing mostly black, their energy and ethos oozes Barbie fervor. “Be annoying! Be loud! Be a menace!” a roller girl once told CityBeat. Take up all the space you need, Barbie. You own this town. Photo: Aidan Mahoney

The Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Gardens 3400 Vine St., Avondale If Barbie is anything (I mean, she’s everything) she is ambitious. Which is why Barbie would 100% work at the Cincinnati Zoo if she were a Queen City resident. At the top of her game, Barbie would head up the Cat Ambassador program. She’d handle cats big and small, endangered and abundant, sick or spritely, researching their every move and publishing fascinating observations about kitty behavior. And naturally, she’d look fab doing it. Photo: Lisa Hubbard via The Cincinnati Zoo

HomeMakers Bar 39 E. 13th St., Over-the-Rhine Sip like you’re in a magazine. With a “slightly retro-mostly modern” vibe, HomeMakers is a colorful, fun place to find your next favorite cocktail or spritzer. The bar hosts Spritzer Hour from 4-7 p.m. Wednesday through Friday and Saturday 1-4 p.m., offering a discount on their low-proof spritzers. Featured spritzers include the Casablanca (red delicious apple-infused Cap Corse Mattei, sparkling wine and seltzer), the Rolls Royce (clarified milk punch, plum sake, fino, absinthe and sparkling brut rosé), As You Like It (cucumber-infused dry vermouth, sparkling wine and seltzer) and Homeclaw (strawberry-infused Carpano Bianco, sparkling brut rosé and seltzer). Photo: Hailey Bollinger

Photo: Stephanie Scarbrough

Tokyo Kitty 575 Race St., Over-the-Rhine There are a lot of truly great karaoke dive bars in Cincinnati, but Barbie, God love her, wouldn’t be caught dead in any of them. Instead, Barbie would be leading a crowd in song at Tokyo Kitty, Cincinnati’s most sugar-coated karaoke club. While opting for a private room is fun for birthday nights or bachelorette parties, Barbie would dominate the main stage with a familiar throwback like “Age of Aquarius,” “Call Me Maybe” or Mariah Cary’s “Fantasy.” Photo: Hailey Bollinger

Ault Park Rose Garden 5090 Observatory Circle, Mt. Lookout Like Barbieland, the Ault Park Rose Garden feels entirely removed from reality. Breathtaking buds and roses are meticulously landscaped to put on a show for those on a romantic stroll. The sky widens to show you sprawling grounds that feel like a grand estate rather than a public park. If Barbieland is all about dreaming up the most wonderful, feminine versions of life, look no further than Ault Park. Photo: facebook.com/AultPark Cincinnati