Diner: Bad Habits

You know the kind of neighborhood dive where it’s a bit on the dumpy side, but you could care less because the food is forget-the-diet rockin’? Unfortunately, Habit’s is not one of those.

The Scene
OK, so it’s a dive … a hangout, joint, barroom, pub, saloon, taproom or tavern. A handsome bar in a dimly lit room, lots of clever brewery advertising, cheap barroom furniture (but practically upscale because it matches), three televisions (hockey tonight), drinking and smoking locals. A separate, non-smoking room with nicely upholstered booths takes away one Dive Point (but it is Oakley Square after all, the earnest little brother to Hyde Park Square). And then you’ve got a potentially great Dive Menu with Lots of Fried Things.

The Scoop
I mean, the menu is pretty big. And of course, we couldn’t try everything and maybe there’s some really good stuff here that everyone but me knows about. Like I said, there’s lots to choose from: appetizers, salads, sandwich platters and zandwich platters (rolled in flat breads), burritos, chili and homestyle dinners.

My friend, a self-proclaimed hamburger expert, ordered the Habit’s Burger ($5.95), “freshly ground chuck charbroiled to your liking,” while my bottomless-pit-and-a-pair-of-hollow-legs-to-match teen-ager ordered a Habit’s Burrito platter ($5.95), “a soft tortilla filled with melted cheddar and your choice of Texas chili, beans or both and topped with burrito sauce.

Served with Spanish rice, tortilla chips and salsa.” Because I am generally attracted to the more unusual menu items and try to represent the vegetarian selections, I chose the Grilled Eggplant Zandwich ($6.95), “marinara, mozzarella & provolone cheese all melted between tomato basil pita bread.”

Something fried is a must in a dive (even if it is called a café), so we ordered a basket of Brew City Beer Battered Onion Rings ($4.95). A big basket of piping hot, not too greasy rings were great with cold beer and colas. Even if they are prefab and frozen rings, they’re fried properly in clean oil and served right away while they are crisp.

There’s nothing worse than fried food that sunbathes under the heat lamp for 10 minutes before it’s picked up. My burgermeister loved his burger and fries, also crisp and hot, but the side of cole slaw was lame. The burrito-eating teen cleaned his plate because he lives in a constantly famished state, but said the refried beans used to stuff the burrito were “totally bland” and that the Spanish rice tasted like it was mixed with “Chef Boyardee. Salsa he generally inhales, but this one was declared “boring.”

The Grilled Eggplant Zandwich got the harshest critique: It sucked. All three of us spit out the bitter eggplant with a noticeable gas taste (learn how to use the grill!), a sauce I would call Tomato Paste rather than Marinara in what appeared to be a dense corn tortilla rather than “tomato basil pita.” The side of rotini pasta salad joined the lame, bland and boring camp: It tasted like it was rinsed in water, tossed in a bit of canola oil and mixed with some olives. The whole plate was left uneaten and generously taken off the bill by the bartender, who apologized sincerely but reminded me that he didn’t cook it.

The Sizzle
Note to self: Eat only fried food, burgers and grilled cheese sandwiches when dive-dining.