Ominous rumblings about UpStarCrow, a self-described “Jazz and Blues Dinner Club” with a “casual atmosphere” that opened in June across from Newport on the Levee, had already reached me. After a friend from New Orleans, known for his refined palate and white-glove, South-will-rise-again civility, went on a long rant — dismantling the food, service, décor, you name it — I had to check it out for myself. It turned out that my blue-blooded friend was right: I too was thoroughly underwhelmed by my experience there.
To be fair, there are a few things about UpStarCrow (named after Upstart Crow, a favorite college pub once frequented by the owner) that I like. First, there’s no smoking. I’m surprised this is even legal in Kentucky, a tobacco-growing state where restaurant meals are typically served with a side of nicotine haze. Secondly, the club regularly presents live music, offering up Jazz and Blues seven nights a week (no cover). Put these together, and you’ve got something worthwhile; there’s almost nowhere a non-smoker can experience live music around here without going home smelling like an ashtray. With its mellow, non-teeny-bopper crowd, this is a welcome addition to Cincinnati nightlife as a place to have a drink, hang out and listen to live music.
However, the service and food need to be improved significantly if UpStarCrow wants to become a dining destination. Our meal got off to an inauspicious start when I first checked in with the host.
“It will be a few minutes,” he said, “We’re out of silverware.”
A restaurant without silverware? I looked around for Ashton Kutcher, thinking I was getting punk’d. The tragi-comic look on the face of my companion, a well-mannered Brit in exile in the great American Midwest, was priceless. This Twilight Zone-like situation ended when someone appeared toting a bin of silverware rolled in napkins, and the host grabbed two and led us to our table. Dear UpStarCrow: Buy more silverware. Even better, skip the utensil escort altogether.
Service improved from here, thanks to a friendly and helpful server. But we waited too long for salads, then were rushed as entrées came in for a hurried crash landing. This all-too-common collision between courses really bugs me: It plainly shows that food is coming out of the kitchen on the kitchen’s clock, with total disregard for what’s actually happening at the table.
Neither of us was enthusiastic about the ambience. It neither aspires to fine dining (no tablecloths), nor with its large, loft-like space (formerly a printing company), delivers the intimacy and buzz I expect from a place billing itself as a Jazz and Blues joint. A large bar in the center of the dining room has two suspended televisions — more sports bar than supper club. Giant martinis painted on industrial-sized columns add a whimsical touch.
Ordering was like picking from a greatest hits collection, with appetizer choices ranging from bar food like cheese sticks ($7) to shrimp cocktail ($10) to quesadillas ($8). Entrée choices were similarly eclectic. To start, my friend ordered the Crow Wings ($8). Described as “oversized” on the menu, these were no larger than normal. Although the tangy sauce was tasty, the meat was dry. I tried the Crab Cakes ($10), which were fairly good — moist without being soggy, and served with a spicy remoulade.
I relied on the seasoned palate of my carnivorous English companion (these people eat meat pies for breakfast) to tackle the 10-ounce Prime Rib ($19). His verdict: good, but not great. Although the Prime Rib was served a perfectly cooked medium and was clearly a high-quality cut of meat, it didn’t leave him raving. The accompanying garlic mashed potatoes were creamy and tasty. I ordered the Vegetable Lasagna ($12), which sounded healthy on the menu but turned out to be oily and heavy.
For dessert, I tried the Pumpkin Cheesecake ($6), which was bland and without much pumpkin flavor. The Chocolate Espresso Crème Brulée ($6)? Also much better in concept than execution.
According to Mike Ringering, manager at UpStarCrow, the restaurant has “tried to put together a menu that will offer something for everybody.” I think they have taken this too far. I’d like to see UpStarCrow develop a much stronger culinary point of view — leveraging its rich Jazz and Blues offering to create a menu that is unique, coherent and contextual, instead of pandering to everyman’s tastes and ending up with a menu that is an uninspiring hodgepodge. ©
UpStarCrow Jazz and Blues Dinner Club
Go: 120 E. Third St., Newport
Call: 859-491-7827
Hours: 4-11 p.m. Monday-Thursday, 4 p.m.-1 a.m. Friday-Saturday, 4-10 p.m. Sunday.
Prices: Moderate-Expensive
Payment: Visa, MasterCard and American Express
Red Meat Alternatives: Salads, fish, chicken
Accessibility: OK
Grade: C
This article appears in Nov 3-9, 2004.
