Charlie's Corner: Internet LSD

Apr 15, 2009 at 1:09 pm

Today I was zooming around the Internet trying to figure out what to write my blog about. I decided to visit the CityBeat Staff Blogs, which you are reading now, to try and vote again for my own blog. I really needed to bring my stars back up to five after seeing a dismal 2.5 standing for the ER Finale (MAYBE IF SOMEONE WOULD HAVE POSTED IT ON TIME, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN RELEVANT). When I went to click the button for five more big stars I noticed that I couldn’t rate the blogs for a second time. After clicking the stars a little message pops up that says, “You already vote.”


I know CityBeat is suffering from the bad economy just like the rest of us, but having a grammatical error on the Web site of a newspaper is like having a dentist with no front teeth. Anyway… on to my blog that I don’t get paid to write, so grammatical errors are welcome! Instead of writing I continued to get side tracked with YouTube videos and listening to Lily Allen talk about how cool Twitter is when you're rich and punching the paparazzi. I came across this “LSD Trip” on YouTube that supposedly simulates — you guessed it — LSD trips. I followed the directions and stared into the screen as the EuroTrash music thumped into my brain and my eyes dried out.

After about a minute or so text popped up telling me to look around the room. When I glanced over at the TV Jimmy Kimmel was bubbling out of the screen. The Samsung 42” flat screen appeared to be rippling water in a vacant swimming pool. I guess LSD loves the summer. Then I clicked on the related video “Trippy Shroom Trip,” which was like falling through the intestines of the BeetleJuice Sand Snake. When I looked up from my Trippy Trip the room seemed to do a little hula dance around my head. I decided that I would start to look at all the weirdo eye videos on the Web that made the room wave at me. They reminded me of newer scary movies, which mostly consist of fast cuts, extreme close ups, weirdo blur blobs and of course wavy faces! They also reminded me of Magic Eye Puzzles. I moved on to the “Hallucinate Without Drugs” video which came with more instructions that were in graffiti type font, which totally means it's going to be awesome! This was probably the coolest one, my mind was blown and it actually made my heart race.

I decided that I should give up booze and drugs and just always have a computer with me so I can “trip” all the time. No need for expensive drugs that will eat away my brain and help fund terrorists to kill babies and white people. This is a cheap way to feel weird, I just only wish it lasted all day. I guess that is why people pay for real drugs instead of internet drugs. Didn't the pengiun from Batman used to have an umbrella that messed with your brain? Yeah he did.