Trump-Kim Summit
Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or in North Korea), you probably heard all about Donald Trump’s meeting with Kim — and we’re not talking Kardashian this time. Last Monday’s episode of The Bachelor was rudely interrupted by coverage of the historic meeting between Trump and Kim Jong-un — the first time a U.S. president has met a North Korean head of state. The two leaders converged in Singapore, where they shook hands in front of cameras for what felt like an hour while exchanging words even though they don’t know each other’s language.
I guess I shouldn’t complain about the momentary pause in reality TV — North Koreans were treated to a stage musical about mining instead of footage of this newsworthy moment. #Sad.
For being such a momentous occasion, nothing really happened. The two kissed each other’s asses, ate Häagen-Dazs, watched a U.S.-produced movie trailer about the country that reeks of propaganda and signed a super vague statement that aims to move toward denuclearization without any details on how that’s going to happen. Then Trump left 15 hours early. The most exciting part of the entire ordeal, though, was when Dennis Rodman went on CNN to essentially take credit for the meeting, getting emotional to the point of crying and promoting cannabis cryptocurrency Potcoin. On second thought, this is actually more riveting reality TV than any episode of some dating show.
Drake’s Degrassi Reunion
Fresh off his internet beatdown at the hands of Pusha-T, Drake released a new video for his song “I’m Upset,” from his upcoming album Scorpion. Normally seeing peak sad boy Drake wouldn’t mean much to me, but I’m one of the countless individuals whose lives have been touched by the cross-generational cinematic teen drama masterpiece that is the TV show Degrassi, and the Canadian king (and former Degrassi star) gave fans the Degrassi Community School reunion we’ve all been waiting for.
In the video, Drake, aka Aubrey Graham, aka Jimmy Brooks strolled into his old Toronto stomping grounds alongside Degrassi BFF Spinner (Shane Kippel) looking like the embodiment of a glow-up. In total, Drake rounded up 20 stars from the show, including Ephraim Ellis — better known as Rick, the O.G. toxic fragile white male who shot Jimmy, leaving him in a wheelchair. (Drake’s crew chased him down through the school). Spinner puked, a callback to an episode where he threw up in class. Archie “Spike” Simpson (who appeared as a student in the ’80s show Degrassi High and as an adult in the early ’00s reboot in which Drake starred, Degrassi: The Next Generation, later rebranded as just Degrassi) bought weed from Jay and Silent Bob (who also appeared in the show, because Canada). A few familiar faces were missing, including Daniel Clark (Sean) and Mike Lobel (Jay), who were, like Drake’s lyrics, a little upset.
Besides the vomit scenes and the gym catching on fire at the end, this looks like the most fun reunion ever. Drake should bring the whole gang on tour, whatever it takes. (Altogether now: “I know I can make it through!”)
Jay/Bey Surprise Collab
Drake wasn’t the only artist to surprise us with new music this week. Jay-Z and Beyoncé dropped a joint album, Everything is Love, announced at their On the Run II show in London on Saturday. Jay teased a collaboration in his New York Times interview last fall. In addition to the Tidal exclusive, they also released a music video for the single “APESHIT” that was filmed in the Louvre. In the fucking Louvre! How did this not leak? Everything is Love came the same weekend as Jay rival Nas’ new Kanye West-produced record. The shade! Throughout the album are disses aimed at everyone from Kanye to the Grammys to the Super Bowl. No one is safe! Especially the bank accounts of anyone trying to cop some OTR II tickets now that there might be new music on the setlist.
R.I.P. Jerry Springer Show
The Jerry Springer Show has filmed its final episode, according to reports. Production has ended and fans will now have to get their fix via reruns on the CW. The show, hosted by the former Cincinnati mayor, has been on the air for 27 years, but it wasn’t always cat fights and paternity tests. It actually started as a pretty standard daytime talk show, but eventually evolved into something a little more… lowbrow?
I’ll never forget my own experience on Jerry. The year was 2007. I was living in Chicago at the time and my roommate had secured tickets (production moved to Stamford, Conn., a couple years later). After hours of waiting with the other hundred or so attendees in an office cafeteria, it was announced that we’d be the audience for a pay-per-view Cinco de Mayo special. A producer promised us that meant more cursing, nudity and general fuckery, to which we cheered uproariously. It was a culturally insensitive calamity — but what else would you expect? I never got to see that episode — our dorm curiously did not get Skinomax — but once filming ended, the audience was invited to rush the stage for some piñata whacking, and I got to meet Jerry himself. It was iconic. R.I.P. End of an era. It’s that P.C. culture, I tell ya!
Raccoon Scales Minnesota Skyscraper
Every once in a while the world turns its eyes to one story — something we can all care about or relate to, something that defies political lines and social status. This week, it all came down to a raccoon. The critter was discovered early last week on the ledge of an office building in downtown St. Paul, Minn. After being stuck for about two days, onlookers saw the raccoon make his way to the second-story roof, but before anyone could rescue him, he decided to scale a skyscraper next door.
Folks watched as he made his way up the 25-story building, stopping to nap in window ledges where people inside could see him, but couldn’t help (the windows don’t open). It was the kind of story you couldn’t turn away from, but dear god help us all if the little guy didn’t make it. Our country is much too fragile for that kind of scenario. Luckily, the daredevil made it all the way to the roof, where wildlife management picked him up Wednesday morning and got him back to safety. You did it, little trash panda!
Contact T.C. Britton: letters@citybeat.com
This article appears in Jun 13-20, 2018.
