Replicating Ferris Bueller’s epic ’80s-era day off today would cost more than a million dollars, according to a slightly hyperbolic chicagomag.com article, which took into account the cost of securing a parade permit in downtown Chicago and making repairs to your friend’s dad’s Ferrari. But you can actually play hooky for much, much cheaper in Cincinnati — like $150 for three people; we added it up.
This summer, we encourage all of you, whether or not you have an excellent taste in sweater vests, to call in sick at least once and play Ferris for a day. You can follow the movie timeline in order (we wouldn’t, because the rooftop bar we suggest first doesn’t open until the afternoon), or you can visit Cincinnati versions of all the day-off stops — the top of the Sears Tower, the Art Institute of Chicago, Chez Quis, a Cubs game, a German-American parade, a pool — in whatever order you see fit.
1. Rhinegeist Rooftop = Sears Tower. This is a loose comparison, but if you’re going to get on top of a building, it might as well have craft beer. Rhinegeist, which celebrates its three-year anniversary on June 25, put a cherry on top of its 25,000-square-foot brewery and event space last year when it added a rooftop deck. Walk up several flights of stairs from the main-floor bar space for views of downtown, Mount Adams and a 24-foot draft beer bar. With wood decking, shade umbrellas and plenty of seating, it’s an excellent place to soak up some summer sun and imbibe one of 15 on-tap sessionable suds, like their Puma pilsner, Dinghy pale ale (a collaboration with the Northside Yacht Club) and both dry-hopped and semi-dry ciders. Also, be on the lookout for Bubblegoose, a beautifully Frankensteined rosé cider. The roof is closed during inclement weather (check the brewery’s website for a .GIF telling you whether or not you can climb on up). And on June 17, July 15 and August 12, the Puma Summer Series turns the rooftop into a dance party with a DJ. 4-11 p.m. Monday-Thursday; 4 p.m.-midnight Friday; noon-midnight Saturday; noon-7 p.m. Sunday. 1910 Elm St., Over-the-Rhine, rhinegeist.com.
2. Cincinnati Art Museum = Art Institute of Chicago. When Ferris, Cam and Sloane hit the Art Institute of Chicago (a place where filmmaker John Hughes said he found refuge in high school), we see them examining works by painters Mary Cassatt, Edward Hopper, Wassily Kandinsky, Pablo Picasso and Jackson Pollock. Our art museum, with a collection of more than 65,000 works, also boasts pieces from some of the same artists — Cassatt’s “Baby in Dark Blue Suit,” Hopper’s “Sun on Prospect Street” and Modigliani’s “Max Jacob” are on permanent display. And the current Not in New York: Carl Solway and Cincinnati exhibit (on view through Oct. 30) features work from Kandinsky- and Pollock-like contemporary artists John Cage, Nam June Paik, Andy Warhol, Tom Wesselmann and more. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Tuesday-Sunday. Free admission; $4 parking. 953 Eden Park Drive, Eden Park, cincinnatiartmuseum.org.
3. Jean-Robert’s Table = Chez Quis. While we wait patiently for chef Jean-Robert de Cavel to open his unnamed double-concept Findlay Market bistro/second French Crust Café location, we always have downtown’s Table for JRo’s take on Parisian-style café fare. Lunch like the Sausage King of Chicago every weekday with a four-course prix-fixe French Lunch Tray ($15.50; the menu changes weekly and is only available at the bar), or grab a seat at a white-tableclothed four-top for a decadent selection of casual but indulgent bistro staples. Start with beef tartar and move on to an omelet du jour, salmon with truffled buerre blanc or a French chateau burger with a side of frites. Reservations not required. Lunch 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m. Monday-Friday. 713 Vine St., Downtown, jrcincy.com.
4. Reds Game = Cubs Game. While the Reds’ rebuilding season has been as painful as one might expect (even more so for the lengthy list of injured players currently on the disabled list), it’s a good thing there’s more to do at a Reds game than watch baseball. Summer is for bobbleheads, expensive beer and hot dogs. And thanks to the influence of last year’s All-Star Game, Great American Ball Park has really upped the ante on its edible offerings. Skip the regular concessions and head to a “Porkopolis” stand for a Flying Pig — a Queen City mettwurst wrapped in bacon and topped with hot peppers and spicy mustard. Or the Fry Box, which serves up french fries topped with stuff, like the descriptively named Crab Box, which features fries covered in lump crabmeat, cheese and seafood seasoning. There’s also a $20 unlimited wristband so you can stuff yourself with food in a bun. Game tickets start at $12. 100 Joe Nuxhall Way, Downtown, cincinnati.reds.mlb.com.
5. German Day = The Von Steuben Day Parade/German-American Fest. Danke schoen: It’s very conveniently German American Day at Findlay Market this Saturday, complete with dirndls, lederhosen and a parade led by the Germania Jagdhorn Gruppe. Crash the parade with your best twist and/or shout, or just crash the OTR Biergarten, which will be overflowing with Reinheitsgebot-certified Christian Moerlein brews. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. June 6. Free. Findlay Market, 1801 Race St., Over-the-Rhine, findlaymarket.org.
6. Mount Adams Pool = Sloane’s Pool. Hidden on the shady hillside behind the Playhouse in the Park, this Cincinnati Recreation Commission public pool is a private oasis in which you can sprawl and swim for only $2 a day. With shallow water for wading, tree-lined landscaping and lounge chairs, it’s an excellent place for ablution — submerge the adult angst out of yourself like Cam; the deep-end is only like 4 feet and there are lifeguards on duty. 1:30-7:30 p.m. Monday-Friday; 1-7 p.m. Saturday and Sunday $35 annual; $2 day. 966 Mount Adams Drive, Mount Adams, cincyrec.org.
This article appears in Jun 1-8, 2016.