One of the greatest gifts of getting older is changing your beliefs when your own circumstances change.
If someone asked me 15 years ago to define an au pair, my beliefs most likely were aligned with common misconceptions.
These are misunderstandings that an au pair is only an option for wealthy families or that au pairs only provide child care.
However, after becoming a mother, it is not surprising that my perspective of child care drastically changed. As a mom struggling to find solutions I began looking into options that went beyond the traditional, like using a nanny or daycare center.
Data from 2024 shows that inadequate care options in Cleveland and Cuyahoga County cost parents nearly $6,000 a year in lost wages and employment, and nearly 2 in 5 Ohioans live in a child care desert.
When our kids were young, my husband and I navigated this complex childcare landscape while working full time. Like many other families, we relied on a patchwork of support.
Although we had managed to juggle resources to cover our child care needs, my acceptance into a challenging doctoral program forced me to look for more consistent support.
I knew that I would need flexibility and consistency, which I expected to come at a significant expense.
Child care in Ohio costs more than college, on average. We needed to explore alternative options. That is what led us to the au pair program.
The au pair program is a cultural exchange program regulated by the Department of State where American families welcome young individuals from abroad into their home and as part of their families.
Au pairs on a cultural exchange visa receive a weekly stipend, room and board, and support to take classes at American colleges.
In return, they provide up to 45 hours per week of flexible child care support.
Regardless of the number of children in the home, the cost of hosting an au pair is one flat fee — compared to the more variable and per-child rates of more traditional options.
When we began the matching process, our expectations were more modest: an au pair who would help keep our family afloat during a grueling season of life.
But, as the search progressed, our priorities evolved.
We set aside strict preferences for country of origin and language in favor of finding someone who was the right fit for our family’s needs.
As we looked through the personalized au pair profiles, we didn’t know what would come true when we connected with our current au pair, Tiiso.
From the time she arrived, Tiiso has shown our family love, laughter, and new perspectives.
Her experiences have shaped our world view.
Hosting an au pair offers a unique way for parents to access a trusted and personalized child care solution while immersing their family in new cultures, languages, and traditions.
Tiiso came to us in December from sunny, warm South Africa, and landed in an unusually snowy Cleveland.
Part of me feared she’d take one look at the landscape and turn right back around.
Instead, she embraced the cold winter with a sense of wonder.
We watched her make social media posts about her first time scraping snow off the window with wide eyes and a grin.
She had joy while walking through parts of our life that we would have normally considered mundane. These are the types of experiences that reflect the true meaning of cultural exchange.
I didn’t anticipate how fulfilling it would be to support this young woman as she navigates a new environment.
It took some encouragement to help Tiiso become comfortable driving our minivan around the neighborhood.
Four months later, she flew across the country, rented a car, and drove across California, from San Francisco to Lake Tahoe.
I doubt I’ll ever completely understand all the ways Tiiso has impacted my family for good.
She shares her delight about the funny things the kids say and how they are growing right before our eyes.
I can imagine that when my children are older, they’ll reflect on the core memories that they formed with her.
I’m excited for the day that we can visit her family in South Africa, which will be both a comma and an exclamation point within our au pair story.
There are many reasons people choose to have an au pair, and they are likely unique to each family.
However, the opportunity for good and personal growth are universal.
If I were to define an au pair today, I would say: “Someone who helps care for your family and brings a unique and joyful perspective to your home.”
I know now that the story will go on for a very long time after that and I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to express my gratitude enough.
This commentary was originally published by the Ohio Capital Journal and republished here with permission.