To some people, “bad tattoo” is redundant (“You’re just so beautiful as you are,” cry moms everywhere). But tats like poorly translated Chinese script, eerie portraits fumbled by an apprentice, or straight-up misspelled words are in a league of their own. Everyone’s personal Hollywood BFF Jennifer Lawrence is so normal and down-to-earth, she got herself some erroneous permanent ink. JLaw says she got inked when out with Hunger Games co-star Liam Hemsworth’s family, who were all getting tattoos (you know those Hemsworths, always throwing family tattoo gatherings!). She picked “the color of a scar” (ew, why) and selected the molecular formula for water (you know, H2O) to remember to always stay hydrated. JLaw might have gone the practical route with her reasoning, but that shit is incorrect — it appears as “H2O” on her hand. Even lovable multi-millionaire Oscar-nominees get erroneous tats! Oh, JLaw. You’re just like us!
Miss Piggy performing Rihanna’s “BBHMM” is almost as perfect as the original.
Because of course Miss Piggy is a scheming diva!
The Emmy nominees are out! Go here for a full list and read this week’s TV column for details like big winners and snubs. Abbi Jacobson’s response to Broad City’s lack of noms is perfection.
The MTV Video Music Awards nominees are also out now, and the announcement sparked a Twitter feud (gag) between Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj. So, that’s happening.
Disney animated classic Aladdin is getting the live-action treatment with a prequel about a genie trapped in a lamp. It will be interesting to see the casting (Hollywood has a long history of white-washing characters), but as long as our real-life Aladdin doesn’t look like Steve from Full House, we should be good.
(Via BuzzFeed’s 19 Things You Might Not Know About “Aladdin”)
Apparently there are “leaked” grocery lists that supposedly belong to Britney Spears. (I love that we’re referring to someone’s kitchen trash contents as leaked documents.) We all know Brit loves her Starbucks and Velveeta, and according to these documents (i.e. girl handwriting on napkins and paper scraps that went for $60 on eBay), she also enjoys cereal, pop, “ham deli” and using the word “baby” in place of “little.” Discuss amongst yourselves.
Is it weird that whenever I discover a new hero, it’s almost always a little girl with killer dance moves? Don’t answer, just watch.
Researchers at Oregon State University have developed a new strain of seaweed that looks and tastes like bacon, which sounds like an event predicted by an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. Kelp is the new kale!
Garrison Keillor’s magical voice will stop comforting people’s earholes soon — the longtime public radio staple is stepping down from hosting A Prairie Home Companion next year.
FX’s Fargo, which follows an anthology format, is coming back for a new season with a cast of new characters this October. The season takes place in 1979 South Dakota and Minnesota and stars Patrick Wilson, Ted Danson, Jesse Plemons, Nick Offerman, Jean Smart, Kirsten Dunst, Bokeem Woodbine, Cristin Milioti, Brad Garrett, Kieran Culkin and Bruce Campbell. Check out the trailer here.
This article appears in Jul 22-28, 2015.
