One thing I feel I did right earlier in my life was building a strong, communication-based relationship with my wife in the years before our marriage. We talked about everything, building up to a point where no topic was off limits between us and we could expect a truly honest answer from each other. From that communication came a strong foundation of love and trust.
Before you get started, realize that total honesty is the only answer here if you expect to have a long, lasting and loving relationship. Once you finally get up the courage to address these issues, don’t hold anything back.
If you find yourself biting your lip or tucking away a little piece of information or two, you’re creating a relationship of mistrust.
Expect some disagreement and don’t expect to answer these questions immediately. Often, fundamental decisions aren’t made in an afternoon. If something seems like it’s building to a serious disagreement and you’re not making any progress, let a few weeks pass before talking about it again.
Things to Talk About
This article appears in Aug 6-12, 2008.
