Minimum Gauge: Texas GOP Somehow Makes Ted Cruz Look Even Less Cool by Pointing Out Opponent's Punk Rock Past

Plus, "Weird Al" implores everyone to not destroy his new Hollywood star (unless he pulls a Trump, in which case he says go for it) and DJ Khaled unveils a new furniture line.

click to enlarge Beto O'Rourke carefully plotting a photo that will one day be used by the GOP to unintentionally elect him to the U.S. Senate as a Democrat.
Beto O'Rourke carefully plotting a photo that will one day be used by the GOP to unintentionally elect him to the U.S. Senate as a Democrat.
HOT: Ted Cruz Somehow Got Even Less Cool

It doesn’t take much to “out cool” Senator Ted Cruz. Did you once wear sunglasses that didn’t make you look like a potato wearing sunglasses? Congratulations, you’re cooler than Ted Cruz. Somehow, the Texas GOP managed to take his competitor in the upcoming Senate race, Beto O’Rourke, to new heights of cool with what was apparently meant to be an “attack ad” type of tweet. Intending to shame O’Rourke by posting a black and white photo of his ’90s Punk Rock band Foss (in which he looks especially sexy wearing a dress!) with the caption, “Sorry, can’t debate. We have a gig,” it seemed to have the opposite effect, as Twitter commenters swooned over O’Rourke’s credentials. He also is a skateboarder and still has chops, as a recent video showed. Among Ted Cruz’s many flaws, being a lame-ass nerd is pretty low on the list, but besides appealing to the people who wouldn’t vote for a Democrat even if it was revealed Ted Cruz actually is the Zodiac Killer, it still seems like bad politics to point out how much of a not-lame-ass nerd your opponent is. (Here's a good interview with O'Rourke from Spin, in which he talks about Punk Rock and Foss, which included future At The Drive-In and Mars Volta singer Cedric Bixler-Zavala on drums.)

WARM: “Weird Al” Finally Gets His Star

Speaking of nerds (in this case, a proud and actually cool one), “Weird Al” Yankovic recently received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Finally! He’s already (so far) been wrongfully denied a place in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame — why has it taken 32 years since the release of Polka Party! to give Al a stupid Hollywood star?! Yankovic, of course, gave a charming, heartfelt, humble and funny speech on his big day, pointedly and politely asking that no one take a pickaxe to his star. “Unless,” he clarified, “at some point in the future I do something unfathomably monstrous and evil, in which case, sure, fine, OK, go ahead"

COLD: Sit On DJ Khaled's Tacky Couch in Your Own Home

You can now sit around your house and yell out your name just like DJ Khaled does! The producer/DJ/hypeman has launched a new line of furniture, We the Best Home, which is based on his own luxury home furnishing tastes and is being released through a company called Goldition (which also appears to be Khaled’s project, as it does nothing else but We the Best Home stuff). In a statement, Khaled said the creative design — which he was “involved in every aspect of” — is “an extension of me.” Photos released to Billboard show We the Best Home to included a leather couch and loveseat, lots of gold and a mirror-lined dining room set that (though certainly made of the highest quality materials?)  resembles something straight off the showroom floor of Rent-A-Center.




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